Feeling so alone 😔💔

I just needed to vent, read if you want I know it's kinda long . I'm 3 months post partum, and finally left my baby daddy. I honestly should have left a long time ago 😔 before I was even pregnant there were so many signs.. then I got pregnant and he became so much worse, everytime I brought up something that bothered me to him he'd get sooooo angry with me to the point where he'd ball up his fists and get in my face as of he wanted to do something to me .. he'd deny our daughter despite how many times I told him she was his and that I'd do the paternity test, I had nothing to hide. Things calmed down a bit after that. Then our daughter was born and we were okay but I honestly felt like I would walk on eggshells living with him. I always told him to tell me when something bothered him so I can fix it but he never did except when I would bring something up to him, he'd invalidate me and start telling me what *I* did that upset him. And he'd say that he wouldn't bring it up because it doesn't bother him. Like? He likes to argue he likes to fight he escalates our discussions when I simply just wanted to be understood and to understand him as well but he would get super disrespectful and say things like he couldn't believe he was going to have to be with me for the rest of his life... it just didn't make sense because he would say stuff like that when angry but then later apologize and say he didn't mean it.. and tell me he loved me 😔 I'm so stupid. And he did it over and over until he started triggering me soo much that I would yell at him and so our daughter would wake up because of us arguing. And one time I wanted to leave to my mom's house with the baby and made a huge deal about taking the baby from him and the next time I wanted to leave to stop fighting with him I was gunna leave without the baby so he wouldn't say that I was keeping her from him but that time he told me "go ahead and leave your daughter" as if I was abandoning her when I simply didn't wanna argue anymore because any room I walked into he'd follow me and keep instigating and keep saying things just to get a reaction out of me... so I finally left I tool everything with me all of my stuff my daughter's stuff back to my mom's and now filed for custody and child support. And every fucking night I can't sleep because i STILL despite everything wish he'd call me telling me how sorry he is and how he fucked up 💔 I just don't understand how he can lie to me and tell me to my face he loved me when he did all that and that wasn't even all of it.. 💔💔 still when I lay here crying in bed I picture myself in HIS arms crying and asking him how and why he would do this to us. I feel so stupid I feel so alone I wish I could just disappear from his life forever 💔💔💔💔but I can't because of our daughter. I hate this so much I never wanted this. It's been a month since I left and I just can't wait for the day that I no longer expect a message or call from him apolozing. I just wanna move on. I know things take time bur fuck dude, i loved him. I love him and I REALLY don't think I'll ever trust anyone again, he really fucked me up. All my previous relationships have been shitty too and he was just the cherry on top 💔