Being with a narcissist is the worst when you're sick

Ditch the man and get your older kids to start helping out. They're old enough to pull their weight.

But also, is there a friend you can call to come and help in the mean time?

@Georgia nope don't have anyone to help, my close friend has cancer she can't be around sick people and my other friend is sole provider for 4 kids she can't be sick at all as she cooks for people in their homes would risk losing her clients plus getting her kids sick and she immune compromised too. My teenagers are helpful only when I pay them for stuff otherwise my younger one she helped a little bit but complained the whole time I thought I was going to pass out from all the complaints listening to it. I do want to ditch him but I'm not physically fit generally I have no car and multiple stairs to my house so I can't do much on my own with baby carrying pram up the stairs and baby, it's so hard trying to get fit and healthy while so tired from looking after everyone else

I just want to reach through my phone and give you a huge hug.... please don't take this the wrong way, I just feel like you really need someone to hug you, look you in the eyes and tell you, firstly leave bubs with me, go rest for the day or few days, whatever is needed medical care/hospital...go get your health sorted first, then come back when you are well and strong & hopefully while resting you read through the letter I write to you or watch the video I filmed for you giving you a clear idea of how my life ended up after 12 yrs with my first violent abusive narcissist..it finally took its toll on me & I had a bad nervous breakdown, I'd been with him from 16 to 28, he was evil put me through hell, nowy eldest saw so much, he is 25 & to see that even though he blocked out so much mentally he has struggled with watching me abused for years, seeing him still mentally suffering from it absolutely kills me inside :( TBC...

I tried leaving multiple times so I'm not to blame for what my son goes through but my god I was so young I thought I needed to keep the Family together for the kids sake (worst mistake anyone can make) it took me 12 years to finally break free and realise exactly what he wàs that he wasn't going to change I was going to end up dead, so yeah if I'd known the extent of the harm done to a child's mind even when you think you have hidden enough from them or whatever I would have never let other to 12 years, unfortunately I fell into a relationship before I was healed and it took years until I realised i was trapped by another abuser one who was much more intelligent and knew how to hide who he truly was... again 12 bloody years together, I just recently finally left him for good, well finally moved out, it's so hard to realise what I've just done I thought he truly loved me how I loved him, it's only starting to hit me now how I've been fooled again waisted another 12 years on. TBC

Ladies don't waist time with a narc, I promise you it won't matter how Amazing you have been as a partner, you won't fix him people like that will break you down but by bit some quietly covertly some loudly not giving a shot who hears or sees, Ive had severe health issues over the years told I was dying at one stage found out from a friend my partner told them he believed I was exaggerating and wasn't as sick as I'd been told ?!!! You need to get away from evil like this, you have a baby, my god I just want to look you in the eyes and tell you you are worth having a great life... getting rest getting healthy so you can be the best mother for your child, I assure you, time flies, it doesn't feel like 25 years ago he was my baby in my arms!!! If only I'd left then for good....oh my god I just want to shake my young self, I beg you if you knew what it was like to one day watch your beautiful first born struggle mentally from trauma because of what he'd seen

Ladies don't waist time with a narc, I promise you it won't matter how Amazing you have been as a partner, you won't fix him people like that will break you down but by bit some quietly covertly some loudly not giving a shot who hears or sees, Ive had severe health issues over the years told I was dying at one stage found out from a friend my partner told them he believed I was exaggerating and wasn't as sick as I'd been told ?!!! You need to get away from evil like this, you have a baby, my god I just want to look you in the eyes and tell you you are worth having a great life... getting rest getting healthy so you can be the best mother for your child, I assure you, time flies, it doesn't feel like 25 years ago he was my baby in my arms!!! If only I'd left then for good....oh my god I just want to shake my young self, I beg you if you knew what it was like to one day watch your beautiful first born struggle mentally from trauma because of what he'd seen

I guarantee You would pack your bags after reading this, and leave never looking back, I promise you men like that fight dirty when you get the courage to leave so you need to protect yourself have court documents stating child is in your primary care if you have no court documents he is not kidnapping his baby if he takes him from you and doesn't come back with him...yes my son was kidnapped by his father because I thought I was keeping things friendly civil no courts ...worst 6 days of my life, oh and yet if I then went to property where he was with my son is be charged with trespassing and attempted kidnapping!! Because he was not giving me permission to get our child...so yes you need to protect yourself, realise yfe is short, make this life beautiful for you and your beautiful bubba...I assure you, you are both worth it, I don't even know you! But life gets better I promise.

@Elle I know what you mean ab9ut struggling to leave because you were so young even though you were unhappy as I been through it. I was basically single, like avoided relationships for 9 years. I have been with my current partner for 3 years and living together the last 6 months so that he could help out more easily. Like I literally went to emergency primary care across Alfred today waiting 2 hrs and my blood pressure was low, I never had that happen I'm a big girl they always worried about higher with me normally 120/90 today it was 94/63. I told my partner about it and that the chest infection has most likely became pneumonia but he was like oh least you can get antibiotics now...I'm supposed to be resting, come home to the baby with my teenager some what helping me, I made him dinner and I ate last I still didn't take my 2nd antibiotic either 1.30am I just put washing in the dryer. My baby is the easiest person in the the house to take care of honestly, she typically takes 2 naps and sleeps all night 🥰

@Elle I know in the back of my head like it can't continue like this, because the more he says I'm playing victim and how am I sick etc the more i believe it too I don't even know what I'm feeling, I didn't even know how to explain it to the doctor like if I'm in pain or not because I'm so used to doing stuff in pain. It's just hard when someone makes you question everything you do and hate yourself and think nothing will be good enough, to start taking care of yourself enough to get fit and strong enough & financially independent enough to end it 🥲

I think you’re located around me? Priority Primary Care Clinics are fantastic and I’ve had to use them a few times for my two littles. Make an app or just go in (don’t need an app but they offer them too, might not be waiting around so long). Your older ones can fend for themselves, especially if they can cook, tell them to do their own laundry, realistically they won’t have you to do it when they move out and as for your “partner” tell him you didn’t realise you needed a medical certificate to receive some help. You can’t pour from an empty cup mama, look after yourself now before it gets worse and you are literally stuck in bed or hospitalised. Feel free to message me if you like, you can vent/cry whatever you need right now. It’s definitely a hard situation ❤️ my only other advice is start focusing more on you, find ways to put money aside without him knowing, look for rentals or when you’re ready/stable kick him out. You deserve so much more than this beautiful, strong mama!