Baby mama rant

So my partner and I have been together for almost 5 years, he and his ex wife have 2 kids together who are now 13 and 14, throughout our relationship it's become more and more obvious that she seems to be doing the bare minimum with/for the kids but taking a shit ton of pictures and getting the kids ridiculously expensive gifts instead of spending time with them so that they like her and she looks like a good mom (for the last 2 years any time they were on a break from school she would take 20+ pictures with them in the car and then drop them off at her parents house for the entire break and then go do whatever she had planned for just herself and post the pictures on social media, and she had kept telling us she was trying to save up money to buy a house so she could get out of the trailer park she was living in, so she'd ask us to buy things for the kids bc she couldn't afford it, no big deal if they need something then they need something, but then that Christmas she got our son 2 different gaming consoles, and our daughter an electric guitar and amp, but then she skimps on the things they actually need like we've had to replace both of their backpacks at least 3 times a year bc she gets them something cheap that looks cool instead of something sturdy and functional or shoes that fall apart after less than 2 months of having them and she doesnt make sure they take care of their things to half the time they lose their stuff bpth of us bought them or they ruin them in a way that was completely avoidable but we have to replace whatever it was anyways). It's to the point the kids (mostly our daughter, our son doesnt mind it bc then he can get away with doing whatever he wants when shes not there) have told us that she's never there with them or she doesn't come pick them up from their friends houses until between 9-11 on school nights but when we try to say something to her about it she says she's with them constantly but then if we say something to her about the kids grades dropping while they're with her and asking her to help them and stay on top of their missing assignments (during quarantine they were online school for almost 2 years and both of them had upwards of 50 missing assignments all from her weeks bc she wasnt making sure they did their homework and they both failed at least 2 classes those years) she'll tell us she's too busy and doesn't have time to (even though she hasn't had a job since last Christmas, she also insisted on going back to school after she lost her job, which good for you for furthering your education, but you obviously cant afford it very well and if school is so importantto you why isnt the kids schooling important?). Throughout this summer into the school year, she left her ex for a new guy and brought the kids to live with him in his 1 bedroom apartment and would wait until he got home at 11:30 pm to make dinner so the kids were up late every night and walking around town, then that guy kept accusing her of cheating so she left him and moved back in with her ex bc it was close to the kids school (less than 5 minutes away) and her ex was about to move out and into his new house anyway so it would become their place once he left. Then that big storm/tornado at the end of August ripped through their trailer park and a huge tree fell through the trailer (come to find out she wasnt even there with the kids when it happened and now our daughter is terrified of thunderstorms), so they moved into the exs new house that's now 35 minutes away from their school, and the kids have been more than 10 minutes late every day she has taken them to school bc she doesn't wake up on time (which is why she lost the last job she had) yesterday she woke up so late that she didn't even bother taking them to school but didn't call them in either so we kept getting notifications from their school app that they were marked unexcused in every class then my partner texted her this (photos in comments) to try to help her out and she just blew up at him and took offense to it bc its not the first time we've offered to take the kids so she could save money easier or have more time to figure out their situation. She does this every time we try to have a civil conversation with her, she purposefully misunderstanding what's being said so she has a reason to be offended and yell at my partner. It's so bad to the point that after she got our kids phones (which we didn't think they had shown they were responsible enough for yet) our daughter was texting my partner while she was with her mom and giving him major attitude, like at one point after he said no and she gave him lip she said "why did you even respond if you knew I was going to retaliate" and all this over a haircut, so he called the ex and simply asked "do you know what our daughter is doing right now" and she blew up at him (still not sure why on that one). It's like she just enjoys making life harder for us and it's really stressful. Before I got pregnant with our son she would make comments and tell stories about when they were together whenever she was here or knew that he had his phone on speaker and I was there too, and when she was single she'd come over and stay for long periods of time just to hang out with my partner like she thought she still had a chance with him and she would use the fact thay they have kids together as a way to hold things over him or get her way, and then I got pregnant and she was acting super bitchy the entire time like she was mad she wasn't his only baby mama anymore, and towards the end of my pregnancy she started talking about getting her tubes untied so she could have another baby with her then partner, who did not look on board with that idea at all, but then once our son was born she was being overly nice and offering to babysit and coming up with excuses to come over and see him. She's called herself his aunt, even though there's no blood relation at all, and she's made jokes about taking all 3 kids for a week even though she has no legal right to our son, almost like she thinks she's his step mom since I'm her kids' step mom. I don't know what I was hoping to get out of this post, I'm just blown away by her lack of thought on most things, and needed to get that out