Dating advice
I met a guy on bumble. We talked for a week or two. We went on our first date. It seemed to go pretty well. We went to dinner. Then went to a new trendy cocktail bar. We had good conversation and had a good deal in common. I could tell he was nervous at dinner because his hand was trembling and he dropped his chopsticks! Funny but cute. I was nervous too, feeling like this guy’s out of my league. He’s a few years younger as well. In my opinion, he’s very attractive. He’s fit, athletic, tattooed, a first responder, etc. He was talking all this talk about going to therapy and working on himself. His profile says he’s ready for a relationship with the right person, etc. So at the end of our date, he walks me to my car. We made out for about five minutes, and it was good! Let me just say, I could tell he was enjoying it. So we text each other when we get home, both saying that we enjoyed the date, then he references our next date. I thought that was a good sign.
Then a couple days later he tells me he’s going out of town to visit family for the weekend, about three hours away in the same state. I told him “I really wanted to see you this weekend, but I guess I’ll just have to wait!” He did not respond for TEN DAYS!!! Bumble shows their location, so I could see him go from his home town, then drive to another state, then come back to the city where we both live, presumably for work, then go back to his home town. I don’t like being ghosted and consider myself too mature for that crap. So I texted him to ask what happened. Then he’s all “Hi beautiful! Sorry I didn’t reach out” blah blah blah. He tells me he’s been traveling for a sports tournament and that he’s currently in a neighboring state. I check his location to see that he’s in his hometown, in our state, and he previously never said anything about traveling for an upcoming tournament. So, I know he’s lying to me. So I politely said good luck with the “tournament” and safe travels. Then he’s like “Can we plan another date??!” WTF?! How confusing!!! I just said, I’ll have to think about it.
I feel like I’m seeing some red flags here. He’s inconsistent and lying to me. Does he have a secret family in his hometown or out of state, or maybe a wife or gf? Maybe he’s dating too many people, or just not that into me? I really like him but maybe i should just quit while I’m ahead. Should I go on another date with him if he texts again?
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Maybe. Google his name and number. If nothing comes up, keep drilling or he's a taken man 😏
I can definitely try that. Only problem is I don’t know his last name. 🫤 I’m just so confused by the ten day silence, then the coming on strong again after I text him. 🤷♀️
He definitely has another female. I've been through that too many times. Ask him. And tell him you need consistency or it's not going to work. He doesn't have to call you 24/7 but 10 days is a long time. Nobody is that busy. It takes seconds to send a "have a good day" text or something, to let you know he's thinking of you. If not, move on. Don't give your undivided attention to someone who is comfortable going 10 days without speaking to you. Either you're not the one or he has another female
thank you. I know you’re right. I could ask him, but doubt he’ll tell the truth. Maybe I just won’t text back and neither will he, and we’ll just leave it at that. 😂 Sucks because I really did like him.
Maybe he just didn’t tell you about the tournament? Be upfront. Ask him. You lose nothing by doing that.
I'd give him the benefit of the doubt, make a second date, and ask questions in person.
maybe. I think what bothers me the most is that I know he’s lying to me about being in a different state for the “tournament”, because I can see his location on the dating app, and he’s not in another state, he’s in his hometown. I have a big problem with liars. But it’s not like he’s my bf, so I feel I don’t really have the right to question or call him out on his lies. What am I gonna say, I saw your location on the dating app, so I know you’re lying 🤥 😂 🤷♀️
oh I see. I get what your saying…. If he’s lying about being somewhere that he’s not, it’s a huge red flag after just meeting… if it’s worth the effort, call him out. If it’s not, wish him the best like you did and be your bad ass self without the liar. How disappointing for you. Ugh men are awful sometimes.
yes, huge red flags! He could say, I’m back home visiting my parents again. But he did not say that. Then I see his location go across state lines to different very small towns in a neighboring state, only for the night or a day or so. I’m seriously feeling like he probably does that to meet up with girls or something. And as a cover he says he’s traveling for tournaments or to visit his parents. I could be wrong, but that’s what my gut’s telling me. I’m like, you do you, but at least own it, rather than being full of BS!!!
:( 💩
I know you were joking above about telling him you saw his location on the app.
But me, I would give him a second chance, go on a second date, and then start talking about how y'all met on the bumble app. Then say something like "the app is not bad and I had some luck with it (*wink at him and flip your hair), but I do find it a bit intrusive due to it showing people's location, do you? 😆 🤣 😂
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