Husband making new Snapchat account on work phone

The other day I noticed on my husbands work phone that he had Snapchat installed. He would be very secretive with his phones and would never really leave them behind so when he did on this occasion I checked the work phone as its the only one with no pass code. I found that he has another Snapchat account which he uses to talk to over 8 women, seems to go back 8 or so months. Our little girl has just turned 9 months. It is all of a sexual nature and he has said he is so sorry but if he hadn't of been caught I don't know how sorry he'd be or actually how long it's been going on. At the moment I'm really struggling to be around him, I've stayed at my mums a few nights, went back home and asked him to stay on the sofa. But the more I'm around him the more just disgusted and disrespected I feel. My family know about the situ, he hasn't told his. I feel like I already know I can't stay with him, but is this too little to separate over? My dad passed away September last year , I'm not sure if I'm just scared to loose another male figure. Though I know ultimately I can do it all on my own.

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It’s not too little to break up over. I ended an engagement for something similar. I’m so sorry this happened to you, but know your worth x

You have a baby girl now, as a lot of people say what would you say to her and what would your husband say to her if she was put in the same situation. Maybe consider having a honest conversation with him and ask him all the questions you need and make a decision? It isn’t too little at the end of the day when trust is broken it’s so hard to get back. You’ll never be alone babe you have a community here and friends and family that love you

It is definitely not too little to break up over, he has cheated. He may not have done anything physically (that you know of) but he has still cheated. He has betrayed your trust and as you said, he’s only saying sorry because he got caught. As above has said, what would you advice your daughter in this situation. What would you be happy for her to accept for herself later on life? That should give you the answer you need. The fact you we’re checking his phone speaks volumes. You already didn’t trust him and you were proven right.

It's not too little to leave him over, but I would try to see if he's willing to change. Try to figure out if it's a true change of heart or just an "oops I got caught." Talk it out with him, tell him how disrespected and hurt you feel, how he's also disrespected your daughter, and how you need access to EVERYTHING from now on. No passwords. No hidden apps. No keeping his phone away from you. Access to the bank account (if you don't share it), bills, etc. Marriage counseling, being honest with his family, everything. If he's willing to do all of that and work toward rebuilding your trust, I would say that would be worth working toward, so your daughter can have her daddy and you can have the man you fell in love with back (though that doesn't seem to be him at the moment). A couple very close to me went through similar when their child was young, and there are so many lives that wouldn't be as good now if they hadn't worked it out. It was so so hard, but they did it, and they're still together 20 years later.

Do what you need to do. Leaving is completely valid and you would be right to do so. You would be being the bigger person and exercising a ton of grace and forgiveness to stay. But if there's still any bit of the man you married in him, I think it would be worth trying to stay.

This is not little this is huge! I’d be fuming and leave asap how dare he?! What a secretive and sneaky man. He tried to take you for a fool. Untrustworthy!

My ex did the exact same thing with a second Snapchat. Most definitely isn’t too small to break up over, it’s cheating. Don’t let people tell you any different, especially him

Thank you everyone for the advice. He is away up to his parents this evening and is going to stay until Monday and has told them what's went on, I haven't heard anything from him or his fam! I guess I think sometimes it is so in our nature as women to just try to make something work regardless of our own happiness and now that I have a little girl I feel like will I be letting her down for not trying to get through this. I don't know who my husband is anymore but he has been very distant since my dad passed away last year. My grief and us just having a baby led him to feel useless he said I think I will always hold resentment after this and I don't see how everything else won't be tainted by it. He has done similar things in the past once when when we just started dating 10 years ago, then again before we got married 4 years ago. I feel incredibly lost and alone !

If you choose to leave, you are not letting your daughter down. If anything, you are setting an example to get that you are worth more. You’re teaching her to never settle and that you deserve the best. I’m sure as her mum, you would always tell her that she is worth more. So are you! The fact he’s using your child as an excuse for his behaviour is extremely hurtful I’m sure. His behaviour is clearly a pattern. I would struggle to forgive once, you’re now on your third betrayal. You are worth more.

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