Am I over reacting?
Show your support
I honestly couldn’t, little one also started crying and she just instantly lifted her out and jammed the bottle in her mouth without even comforting her first. Never again!
No, I’d 100% feel the same way. You’re probably more sensitive to it because of having your back up already with her. But I don’t think it’s on that she had the pram next to her. I’d just never do that. Tbh, I’d get up and move it. I just don’t think blokes get it half the time tho and go straight on the defence.. especially when it’s about their mum 🙄
I can’t imagine she’d have taken it well if it was done to her back when your husband was her baby. It’s your baby. It shouldn’t be wheeled off to be beside someone else. The baby typically wants to be close to its mother.
Oh no way, you are not over reacting, husband needs to realise it’s not about asking who can hold her, it’s about you are the parents and baby wants the parents. I defo would of moved the pram back by me. Maybe sit down with your husband and explain your feelings, you don’t want it to drive a wedge between you x
No I'd 100% feel the same way x
It’s not about him asking your permission about who can hold the baby. I’m sure if during the day she asked to hold baby that would be fine. But it’s almost possessive, taking baby for herself and having by her the entire time is like she is mum and I’d be uncomfortable with that. I definitely would have moved the pram and said along the lines of wanting her by you so you can keep an eye and deal with her easier if she needs anything.
I'd be annoyed for sure and definitely raise it, as well as limiting responses to texts. Although, it might not be silly to, on occasion, to take advantage of being able to take a break either by allowing this. I am only saying that because mums always eat last because of the child care responsibilities
It all depends how you feel about your mother in law tbh. This wouldn’t bother me in my personal situation as I trust my mother in law and would have appreciated being able to have a baby free hot meal. However that’s not to say your feelings aren’t valid for your personal situation, and I hope your husband can see where you are coming from
No, you're not! My husband and I agreed on things that our family can do with our L.O. it helped a lot because I know my MIL will be extra. She is an amazing woman but when we told them we are pregnant and she started saying that "it is my baby too" that scared the shit out of me. No one is allowed to bottle feed our baby except me and my husband. No one is allowed to kiss her on the face, they have to wash or sanitise before touching her and most importantly, no one is allowed to post her photos in social media. Sounds too much? setting these boundaries helped us a lot and avoided conflicts.
You’re not overreacting, even if my own mother did that I would be annoyed. The difference is as she’s my mother I feel more comfortable to say “don’t just take my baby over to you, I want him by me” and bring him back whereas I’d be nervous to do that with a MIL and it’s frustrating that men don’t understand the way we feel when it comes to our babies.
I’ve had it before and it annoys me as I’ve no idea what they are feeding her or if she’s eating. Plus I didn’t overly trust them with feeding her. Now they are older we do try and get the kids to sit near my mum so she can spend time with them as she finds it difficult being in a wheelchair so maybe find a compromise.
I’d feel the same way but feel this type of stuff needs to be nipped in the bud at the time. As soon as she parked the pram you should have said ‘oh xxx, I’d like the pram parked next to me please. You can hold the baby for xxx then I’ll have him/her back’ No need to stew on it, just say it then and there. Maybe you and hubs need to chat about ‘ground rules’ you both feel comfortable with 🤗
Try not to take the grandma thing too personally. Be thankful that she really really loves her grand baby and wants a relationship. Honestly, the older generation are so happy to see babies. It lights up their days (where as we can take it for granted). I get the anxiety thing. Maybe ask yourself why you have these feelings? Is your baby sick? Is your baby fussy? Is she a questionable person of character? Or perhaps it’s a dependency thing for you? Just an internal conversation to have. If your baby is displaying cues that she needs you (hard crying, smelly diaper, hunger, too young, sick etc.) and those cues are being ignored by grandma and husband, then you for sure need to have a conversation with husband and perhaps he needs to step in with the baby because that’s his mom (I find it goes over better if the son actually talks to mom). If she is really insistent, maybe bring the baby around more often so she can see the baby? That might make her less clingy with the baby maybe. Lol
Agree with @Jade. I wouldn’t take it personally. She obviously loves your child. She could have asked sure, but I wouldn’t think it’s malicious in any way. Were they at a separate table from you?
to connect with women at a similar stage in life.
Trusted by 5M+ women
to connect with women at a similar stage in life.
Trusted by 5M+ women
Next time maybe you guys sit by each other and baby can be in-between the two of you but say that you want to be the one that feeds/comforts baby.
Just take your baby back! I can totally understand this and had times where I couldn’t bear anyone else holding my baby- which is a totally normal feeling. I wouldn’t worry about offending anyone, yours and your baby’s wellbeing comes first and anyone that doesn’t understand that can go away!
I understand your concern grandparents can think they know best but look at it this way…you had an opportunity to enjoy your Sunday dinner. with me and my husband we don’t get that opportunity even when we’re with grandparents. You should look at the positives of the situation. How lovely to have a MIL that wants to be the best! Take it! If that’s what she wants use it to your advantage xxx
No, that would totally pee me off, too. I wouldn't be able to concentrate the whole meal. I would have probably got up and wheeled baby back to me. Honestly, I would be exploding inside.