Feeling down and discouraged

So this might be tmi but ever since i had my babygirl in January my pelvic floor has been very weak and lax and i lost all the muscle in my a** cheeks down near my V so sex doesnt feel good unless a certain tiny spot is hit and its almost impossible to hit now. Also my bf loves sex and needs sex but makes me feel bad bc im not always in the mood bc of different reasons and its usually cause my lower region hurts or is torn from the last time we did it or postpartum depression is affecting me and he also takes a long time to finish cause of how my V is now and he says im not sexy enough and says i need to do all these sexy antics just to make him actually finish faster and really feel it that are typical straight out of pornhub scenes that are just not me and make me uncomfortable to act like that. He makes comments all the time joking but not joking how im not seductive and it really hurts me and i know my V isnt the same as before birth so sex feels less "sensational" for both of us but hes not the only one feeling that and i cant help that and now on top of that im already sad about my body and how i look postpartum and he is basically saying my body isnt enough or looking at me isnt enough or even literally the act of sex with me isnt enough to make him truly feel it and finish faster or think that sex is amazing and connecting us, which if effort is put in it should be. And its also even worse cause like i said he loves sex and has a really high sex drive and he does like touching me so he always is trying to have sex and always trying to force me to be in the mood and then we end up doing it and it just keeps the cycle going of my V getting torn more and looser and me getting my feelings hurt about my body and having to keep watching him struggle to finish and not be truly loving my V and having sex with me. Idk what to do guys but its really damaging me badly it makes me want to cry everytime and it has ruined my confidence even outside of sex i feel like im never pretty enough or sexy enough for him even if he gives me a compliment one day bc his body is always saying otherwise during sex.

Show your support

He’s a piece of shit

You deserve SO MUCH better

@Lydia no man should be making you feel this way! Honey your gorgeous, remember you just had a baby and your body is still healing, you went through a marathon and now your body needs the same amount of time, if not more to heal! We all struggle with excepting ourselves after having a baby because we want to go back to our pre baby body, but honestly, our bodies have changed for the better. Our body was our babies home for nine months. You are gorgeous and amazing, just remember that. Any guy would be lucky to have you. If your man is making you feel this way, the. It’s time to move on and find someone better, maybe try talking to him too, see if he can give you time to yourself and look after the baby so you can look after yourself and make yourself feel loved again. I know I need at least 1 hr a day to myself to give myself some self love. For me that’s journaling and working out. Maybe a bubble bath if I have time. But give yourself time to heal and give yourself some self 💖

You should try yoni steaming like at home it can help a lot but damn he sucks like you just birthed a whole child your body needs time to heal

Does he think you are a pornstar/sex slave a big part of sex is emotional intimacy too so if he is making u feel like 💩 it doesn’t help he can use his hand and watch exotic porn… it’s crazy bc what is he doing to turn you on? He is literally damaging your body because of his own desires and lust

Go see see a pelvic floor therapist and either leave your man or get relationship counseling. Or convince him to get therapy. Idk, his behavior is not cool.

@Chantelle thank you for the kind words! Its hard for me to do self care the things that make me feel good about myself cost extra money that we dont have right now like getting my hair done, nails done, lashes done and stuff like that even self care products that i can use in the shower to pamper myself just arent in the budget rn... ive tried to find other things that make me feel good but nothing else really does so idk what else i could do🤷🏽‍♀️

@Ashley what does the yoni steaming do?? And yeah he knows sex is emotional for me ive told him multiple times and it is for him too but we come from a different place he needs to feel desired i guess no matter what cause of his ego and i need to feel safe and secure. He actually knows how to turn me on but it only works if hes been treating me right and been nice to me otherwise i cant get turned on and those are the times he doesnt care and wants sex anyway

Yoni steaming it’s like u can buy a seat cover u put it on the toilet and u have a whole bunch of natural herbs that u boil like a tea then put into the seat, the steam goes in ur 🐱 for 15-25 mins and then u use the yoni oil it is helpful for your vagina many uses like pcos postpartum (after 3 weeks) hormone issues

It’s like a spa treatment for your 🐱 but it is natural, of course if u feel discomfort when doing it maybe ask your doctor first

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