Birth/mother in law

Yea tell the midwife's at the beginning they will listen to you no one else x

I know my husband wants his mam for a bit of support or so he says but I don't want him to know I told midewife , I just want to enjoy this experience and bond with baby , I have my mam and husband as birthing partner which is agreed with partner as my husband sometimes passes out with blood or if he is worried , so it's not as tho I have put one grandparent before other x

They won't tell him ... totally understand what your getting at honestly the hospital will say what you say goes and they will probably just say only birth partners allowed that's what happened with me x

I literally feel your pain, except its with my own mum. Just tell the midwife that you don't want anyone else there and they should sort it for you 😘 maybe try have another chat with your partner about how you feel too x

I'm starting to think is it easier just to let her in for five mins then she don't come when we home for a while , I just wanted this to be a positive happy experience for everyone but just filled with stress even all through pregnancy x

It's honestly your choice, you do what you feel comfortable with. Your the one with the control in this, try not to stress and don't worry about upsetting other people x

Your husband needs to understand that, while it's both your baby, you're the one going through the ordeal not him, and that gives you the right to choose who you have there.

Perhaps so she feels involved, you can ask her to wait at home and get everything ready for you, cook first meal, get a food shop in for you, etc. Might paint it in a better light than banishing her from the hospital and make your husband feel better too x

yes that is what I have said even coming over and getting cot and things set up so she is involved , but no she doesn't want to do that she is only interested in getting into the hospital and baby and seeing him x

If she's not one of your 2 birthing partners she won't be allowed in anyway while you're in labour. Then it's just visiting times. If you tell the staff you don't want any visitors then they won't let anyone in.

I had the same issue 🤣 but then when I was in all that pain I really didn’t care and wanted all the help I can get but then again you can tell your midwife and you get to choose two people present with you x

she has really upset me made my whole pregnancy miserable all about he wants , tbh I don't even want to see her at the hospital at all . I feel bad for my husband too as I know as birth he will want his mam to come up x

I hope you don't mind but I was talking to my nan about this yesterday, because I don't want my mum there 😅
My nan said there's an old wives tale that the nan is the first person of the family to hold and cuddle the baby (obvs after the parents) which might be the secret reason as to why she wants to hang around 😅 iv literally banned my mum from the hospital 🤣 x

Haha 😂 everyone just seems to forget about the mother who has just laboured for hours or days , I bet you the people that don't understand or being over bearing if they could would scoop baby up and sit in another room as that's what they there for x

it is not always the case. Sometimes, visitors just squeeze in on the ward

@Adele but they shouldn't. Maternity wards should be locked and everyone asked who they are before they're allowed in. We have "secret visitors" (a vital like secret shoppers) to test this.