What’s the difference between forgiving someone and forgetting about the pain someone caused you?
How do you continuously forgive someone for something that continuously pops up in your memory and body and affects the relationship?
I understand it’s ok to forgive but not forget but how do you forgive when you can’t forget?
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Honestly, I don't forget, and I always make that clear. "I forgive you for this one time thing, IF it's a one time thing. Because I won't forget what you've done till the day you die.
thank you! This was the missing piece I was seeking. You’re right, the person needs to show/express they are sorry and the behavior will not (intentionally) happen again.
I don't think forgiving is dependent on the person being sorry, because then you're just trapped. The anger/hurt of not forgiving often only affects you and not them....if they're your partner though, that's hard to navigate. If anyone else I'd say you can try to forgive them so you're not holding onto it all, but then if they're not sorry/realising what happened and/or are likely to repeat themselves then don't continue fueling the relationship. If it's a partner, and father of children, etc. then it's a difficult thing because you don't want to leave.
You can't make someone be sorry, because if they're not then resentment will grow.
If it's a romantic relationship then maybe couples therapy would help.
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