Red flag? What to do?
My boyfriend and I have been together for almost 4 years we have 2 kids together (22 months and 7 weeks). And out of our whole relationship, he has NEVER planned a date even before kids I was the one doing it. Now when we had kids we haven’t been on a single date, his excuse is our kids thought I’ve said we can still have a date with kids.
But this weekend my partner has off and I’ve ask my family to watch our kids for the weekend so we can do something. I’ve told my partner that my family will watch our kids so we can have a little us time.
Will it be wrong if I get hurt that he doesn’t plan anything ahead of time?
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It takes 2 to make a relationship work. You both need to plan date nights and make time for eachother. It seems he clearly isn't willing to. You need to talk to him about it properly because why should you be putting in 100 all the time and only getting 10 back
My husband and I always plan things together. He probably would if I asked him to, but it just works better for us to work together
I've been with my partner for nearly 4 years and he's never planned anything. It's just not something he likes to do. He's more of a home person too. It sucks because I'd love to go out for dinner every now and then, but he just doesn't like that sort of thing.
Since I spoke to him about it, he just makes us a nice fancy dinner once a month at home. I'm more than happy with that because then I know he's comfortable.
Maybe try to talk about it, he might be like my partner. X
I agree that it takes 2 to plan something sometimes but I also think it’s a shame for him to not be gentlemanly and plan something for his girl ever. I would maybe plan something together for this weekend but I would also say in a friendly way, you know you’ve never arranged a date night for us yourself… I’d quite like it if one day you did do something romantic like that.
No harm in being straight up if it’s said nicely. Communication is key in a relationship and you need to tell him this if it’s how you’re feeling x x
Nope just enjoy the time togethe life’s too short. If he never did it he won’t randomly do it now
Ask if he wants to do something you know you both like if not
Movies and food snacks at home should be just fine. Enjoy each other
I’d probably just remove the speculation around it and say ‘family are having the kids I would LOVE if you planned something for us this time’ rather then setting a secret expectation and then being upset if he doesn’t meet it. Seems like it can all be avoided x
explained perfectly!
Yes, you would. You’ve already started the planning, you might as well finish it. But talk to him and let him know your expectations for the future. Like sometimes he can plan who’s gonna watch the kids and what you guys will be doing.
Im sorry that you’re experiencing this. Your boyfriend should be willing to take you out and also spend quality time with you. I don’t see a reason why not. You shouldn’t be the only one making effort to spend quality time with him. You both should be pouring into each other equally and both meeting each others needs/standard.
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