Advice
My daughter is in the process of a diagnosis, it’s all so new to me. She’s had the first step which was the pediatric assessment, the doctor wants to get an assessment from her school, she’s just started reception back in September. We have a social worker who helps me a lot. She went to visit her in school and said that the assessment will probably be perfect, she’s an angel in school always is, very quite. I’m told she could be masking and is very good it at but when she comes home since starting school it’s total hell. The social worker mentioned that because the assessment which will be sent out will be pretty perfect it might be hard to get the diagnosis.
Is the doctor going to think I’m making this up when it’s hard to know what she’s really like if that makes sense. I’m at the end at this point, I feel like I can’t do it anymore. I love her so much but everyday at home is getting worse and worse but everyone outside the house sees her as this quiet little angel.
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Often kids with ASD do their best all day long to keep it together (masking) at school and they completely unravel when they get home. You are probably your daughter’s safest place. The place where she can completely fall apart and still be loved unconditionally. Having an autistic child has been the most challenging thing I have ever done in my life. It has taught me a lot about patience. I don’t come anywhere near where I want to be but I’m trying my best every day to be strong for her. There may be things you can do to help regulate your child after school. Talking to an OT can help. It’s going to be a roller coaster ride with a lot of highs and lows. Just remember to keep your head up. There are some good pages on Instagram of parents and their autistic kids and how they tackle the everyday. Definitely inspiring.
It can be hard to access a diagnosis which is why the autistic community recognise self diagnosis. The support needed for autism is specific to individual needs rather than generic support for all autistics. This means you should be able to access some support without a diagnosis, such as speech and langauge for communication issues and occupational therapy so I woukd focus on what her needs are and what support would work for those. Just knowing and viewing things through the lense of autism can help you and her to understand herself more and you can treat her as autistic without the formal diagnosis. Kids who present this way often end up only getting diagnosed later in life.
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