My boyfriend engaged

I looked at some of your other posts. I understand this is a place for us to vent at times, but it doesn't sound like you feel supported by him. He games 24/7, doesn't help around the house enough, give you the attention and companionship you want, and sounds like more of a boy than a man.
Don't get married thinking he'll change afterwards. Even if he changes tomorrow, give it time to make sure he doesn't go back to the way things are now. All relationships take work, especially long term ones, and it sounds like you're the one doing most of that, which isn't exactly a recipe for happiness

@Rachel Ikr, me too. This engagement announcement doesn't sound nice at all eith all the "I imagined it somehow else" etc.
OP, are you happy or you said yes just because you have a kid?

My ex proposed to me over 8yrs ago when our son was 3months old. We had talked about getting married since before I got pregnant so when he proposed I said yes. I knew even then I had no intention of marrying him, just wanted to keep the peace. Since I’d fallen pregnant he’d become incredibly controlling, unsupportive, would isolate me from friends/family, didn’t show any interest in spending time with the baby never-mind helping look after him. He was just a shit partner and a crap dad and I’m so thankful I didn’t marry him. Fast forward 8 years, I’m incredibly happy with my partner who has supported me through absolutely everything since day one, is an incredible step father figure to my 2 boys and treats me like a queen and makes me feel like a priority every single day. I know without a doubt he’s going to be the best dad to our little girl once she’s born and I couldn’t be happier.

Congratulations if it’s what you really want but remember life is too short not to be truly happy 💖

You have great taste though, your ring is beautiful!! 😍

You don’t sound happy, sounds like you said yes for the wrong reasons, after reading someone else’s comment I went and looked at your posts and you absolutely should not be getting married. Age doesn’t matter but you have a lot of growing up to do. Everything you’ve posted is toxic, he’s not ready to be a husband and you are going to end getting seriously hurt. Your daughter is going to be the one that suffers. You’re dating a little boy hoping he will suddenly change, all the things you hate about him aren’t going to change, especially when he’s shown time and time again he isn’t willing to put in any effort.

You're upset because of the way he did it? or just in general?

I’d say no to him if he needs to change

Sweety you have a family with him
Of course marry him and fix anything that need fixing ❤️❤️❤️❤️ he seems nice as he proposed even though its extremely missy dont let anything make this moment horrible for you

they need to fix things before marriage lol, not after.

Did you feel like you had to say yes as you have a child together? You don't seem very happy at all about it x

My sister got married last year thinking he would change. The same type of behaviors 😕 He even kept saying he would change and never did. They’re signing divorce papers next month. Before this happens, have a conversation. Have LOTS of conversations about what you expect and that it’s normal for a partner to take 50% of the work load/mental load for this to work. Introduce him to zachthinkshare on TikTok. He’s got tons of examples and advice for guys that are learning to be a partner.

they have a kid they are married but doesn't know yet 🤣
Fixing can happen in parallel why to put more fear of leaving fix to stay not to check

em no. I have a kid with my fiance and I wouldn't marry him unless our problems are discussed and we go in with clean sheet. That's a big no.
Just because they ha e a kid together doesn't mean she "has to be happy" he proposed. From her past posts, he is a kid himself lol.

I worked with a 20 year old that got pregnant with her FWB, are they married but just don't know it? They have a 1 year old daughter together

Or how about the daughter of a family friend who is dating a married man and has a 4 year old daughter with him. Are they married? Should they stay together and try to resolve the issue of his wife?

Having a child with someone does not make you their spouse

he seems nice because he proposed? Is that genuinely how low the bar is for you? That makes me very sad

he’s nice because he proposed? Anyone with a kid together need to be married? You sound delusional, an unhappy home is absolutely not better for a child than having two parents who co parent. Our children watch how we treat our spouse and how our spouse treats us. This is not a man who can lead by example, instead he will teach toxic behaviors and this cycle will continue. The only thing marriage does is put a legal obligation to a person, they need to breakup or fix their issues BEFORE marriage. Not sure how marriage works in your country but this poor girl deserves more than a lazy man who doesn’t put in effort to be a better man for his family. She’s better off a single mom than a miserable wife.

I’m telling my story because I don’t come from a place where I grew up with a mom but I recognize the flags. Hearing other women is just helping me understand where I am about to be putting myself through before it’s to late.

sometimes you can be blind to the red flags whilst you’re in the middle of it. I didn’t realise how bad things were until I finally left and I also didn’t believe I deserved any better. Please consider what we are all saying. You deserve to be supported, respected, prioritised, valued and your daughter deserves a happy mum and a healthy/safe home environment x

Congratulations 🎉🎊

Little bit confused...did you not want to get engaged? My fiancés proposal wasn't how I imagined being proposed to I was at home, but it didn't matter.

Sounds like you may have doubts about him and your relationship. Don't get engaged just because of a child, that never works out.

I wish you all the best! Put yourself and your child first x

so she has to be sad?you said that they have to fix things before getting married right? Why whats the difference?

what does make you a spouse? What does marriage mean?

sweety try to take advice from someone who knows more about you and only want good for you and your family hopefully you find that🎊

Damn girl is it really worth settling for a complete loser? It takes 2 parents to have a child. BOTH parents put in the work not one. If my partner slept through night wakes id knock him awake.

That is great he proposed, BUT ................ if he isn't being fully supportive and helpful what's the point of a "ring". It is a beautiful one, but there's no compromising from his part or at least it sounds like it

I feel like if it’s the right guy, even if the proposal isn’t what you anticipated, you wouldn’t complain about it

Divorce is expensive. Don't jump into a marriage until you're 100% sure you could happily spend the rest of your life with that person. Meaning, you will face obstacles together, but will be able to overcome them. If you have doubts, consider doing couples counseling. It's a great option for couples who need to sort out problems before getting married!