Am I being unreasonable today?!

No you’re not!

Not at all! Cough syrups are mostly made up of sugars, they don’t actually help the cough. I’ve heard they’re more of a placebo affect. There’s plenty other better ways to help with his cough. My mum is the same that she will make me feel guilty that I haven’t done something she thinks I should do, she usually puts on the sympathetic voice and makes out I’m awful. It’s so frustrating. I completely agree with you, she should never say she’s happy only when he’s good. A 2 yr old is not in control of her emotions. Also what is ‘good’ to a 2 yr old, they don’t fully understand what is expected of them yet in social situations etc. you really have to stand your ground sometimes and just tell your mum straight. Sometimes it’s the only way to get through otherwise it continues

I would get my hackles raised if my mom (or anyone) acted like that toward my child. I would consider giving cough medicine for bedtime only if it disturbed his sleep. So far I’ve just given honey (in Wheetabix, cereal, or honey water) for cough. I swear it helps!

But no that is your child and your parenting choices! Do u live with ur mum? I’d avoid her house if she couldn’t respect my parenting choices and boundaries

This lady is a pediatrician and she posts some really interesting stuff on insta:
https://www.instagram.com/reel/Cy5RICxN8nK/?igshid=cHkwaTltMXZsZm82

Trust your instincts, you're doing the right thing. We all lose our cool sometimes and shout (I know I have!), but it's not ok if that is the norm. Maybe have a convo with your mom when she's calm. Just because you're under her roof, doesn't mean that she can do whatever she wants with your child, particularly if it's unhealthy.

But, equally, if she is very stuck in her ways, maybe moving out and raising your kid your way should be an option. But I'm saying that without knowing your situation...

I don’t even live with her! This cough medicine fiasco was literally as soon as I met her this morning for a coffee, I don’t know how to word to her to just let me raise my child how I want, that I’m not neglecting him

I find evidenced based research is good. NHS and WHO links. I advise that we parent and educate based on Montessori, Steiner, and Forest School principles mixed with attachment parenting. That’s what I reference if I ever need to evidence my methods. You don’t ever need to defend your choices. I just like educating people. 😄

You shouldn’t have to explain your parenting choices to anyone but you’ll have to just keep it simple and to the point, there’s no point giving reasons as she’s not likely going to agree and it opens it up to argue. From experience the more explanation I give the more my mum disagrees and makes it hard. When I’ve finally snapped and said something along the lines of ‘he’s my child, I decide what happens’ she doesn’t really know what to say and goes quiet. For a while at least. I’d suggest saying something like that and that you’ll not discuss it anymore and if she can’t accept that then you’re gonna have to consider not being around her until she does

I basically said this ‘Fine at the doctors, nothing wrong. She said the same to me about cough medicines again, said to avoid as there’s no proof they do anything and they’re just full of sugars. I know you’re trying to help but I just didn’t appreciate the snappiness with me about it. I know we might have had them when we were younger but this is just my choice as a mum if that’s okay but I know you’re trying to help. But just trust me a bit please 🩷 xxx’

She’s read it but hasn’t replied. Probably giving me the silent treatment now

You're being COMPLETELY reasonable...it is NOT okay for her to behave like that with your son, especially when you've made it clear that that's not how you want to do things. It's so rude to behave like that, and saying "only when you're good" can create SO many problems for children...unrealistic expectations, yelling, it's so harmful. Especially at 2! He doesn't have the psychological development to be "naughty". It's so upsetting when people do this.

I highly recommend Sarah Ockwell-Smith's books- there's one called the gentle discipline book which might give tips on handling other people disciplining your child. She also has a Facebook group in which people post questions and the group answers to help- it is moderated.

I would make it clear with your mum (at a time when you're not in the middle of the yelling) that she doesnt discipline your child or yell at him at all. If she does not agree because it's "her house" then encourage her that he's "your son" and unless he is physically damaging...

...something badly of hers (hard to word this over text) then it's not her place to get involvedal at all...and even then she needs to respond calmly because yelling is just toxic and doesn't even achieve the desired goal of certain behaviour.

Unfortunately if she can't get on board then, if you can, say she can come round to your house instead/meet elsewhere.

I'd highly recommend posting on the fb group for advice too xx

Also, you were given clear instruction whilst waiting for a medical app...absolutely fine for you to hold off on medication for the short time until the appointment x