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August 2023 Babies 🇺🇸

Feeling

Feeling like I needed my baby girl more than she needs me… Before she came I was trying to do soo much to end my life.. & the last time I decided to end it Flo was telling me to take a pregnancy test.. I denied it for 2 weeks figuring out which way would be perfect but something just kept telling me to not drink not take those pills.. It finally hit me & instead I took the test & it said I was pregnant.! Went to work that day when I got off took another said I was pregnant. I couldn’t believe it soo I took another boom says I’m pregnant… Whole time wishing for a boy because I thought I wasn’t made out to take care of a girl especially going thru what I went through growing up.. Downing myself.. Hoping what I was going through would get better but I didn’t soo I kept thinking bout abortion.. Everytime I went for a doc appointment I sat in that lil room going over everything trying to see if I was making the right decision.. Reading the posters on the wall distracting myself kinda seemed like a reason why I shouldn’t.. No matter what I was going through I couldn’t tell my obgyn that I wanted an abortion. Once I seen & heard my baby on monitor I cried & still couldn’t believe it.. Holding her in my arms right now is like I still can’t believe I have a baby girl or even have my own child… What could this really mean especially after everything I was going thru.! I was in love with my childhood boyfriend we met in 2007 broke up in 2010 went our separate ways & now back together for 4 years almost 5. Just thought he wouldnt do ME like that & now we have a child together…Only if you knew my full story…