It's brave to talk about it. You're being brave reaching out. And the best thing you can do for your baby right now is focus on yourself. I don't know how far along you are but you have time to feel these things, hash them out, and get a plan in place (for how to address them if/when they pop up on you) before you have a baby in your arms.
100% had a lot of traumatic experiences while pregnant and felt super depressed. You're not alone and it doesn't make you unworthy or a bad mom. You haven't let your baby down. You're talking about it. That's good! All those feelings are being heavily amped up right now and you can absolutely get through this. If you don't have anyone to talk to, you can message me. If you're not comfortable with that, maybe try to write down your feelings in a journal. I swear they don't warn us about pregnancy depression and it's got to be much more common than we realize. I think a lot of people are just scared to talk about it because we're told we're supposed to only be happy and we only get to see happy pregnant people.
I completely understand your current state of mind as I am the same. It has been a hell of a tough pregnancy but I have found pushing myself through the pain and getting out really distracts me, even if it is to see family, just getting out the house as much as possible. Some days are harder than others but pushing yourself does make a difference. I have come to the realisation that yes a lot of people have great pregnancy’s but unfortunately there are ones that have a really hard time. Don’t blame yourself as it is not in your control, all you can do is try and help yourself through distractions x
I can relate. The only thing to help me was working out. I can feel the endorphins in my body after even walking on the treadmill on an incline for 20 mins. I know it’s so hard to go to the gym or exercise when you feel that way but it really has helped me.
Feel free to message me directly x
Thank you for your kind words, I don’t have friends and family is difficult so it’s just me and my husband and I feel awful feeling this way and talking to him all the time about it as I don’t want him to worry or being him down. I’m 29 weeks so the closer I get the more I’m freaking out Xx