Why do I keep letting him come back?
So I haven’t heard from my baby daddy in 2wks our son just turn 1 month two days ago and still he didn’t reach out but he’s a season ticket holder for the Football team so he called me out of the blue yesterday morning (day of game) to see if I wanted to go I thought sure why not he hasn’t seen his son since he was like 3 or 4 days old (I was planning to baby wear to keep him covered as I’m still worried about taking him out in public but I need some social interaction that isn’t just my family) so after we got off the phone I messaged to see if he had a large clear bag as all the ones I had we’re going to be too small to carry his stuff, he then proceeded to call me to ask me if I was taking him then turned around and used my words against me about not wanting to take him out much basically saying he didn’t want our son to go (he kept me a secret while we were together, now it seems like that’s what he’s wanting to do with our son there is an age gap between us so I don’t know if that’s why he’s been keeping us a secret or what) so we both basically said nevermind well the stadium isn’t far from my house so part of me had a feeling that since it was convenient for him he would try to see if we wanted to come over after (which he did) I tried so hard to say no because I don’t want him to only have us around when it’s convenient for him but idk I always give in to him so we ended up going over and staying the night in the beginning I tried to give off a cold shoulder but as the night went on watching him interact with our son it’s like it melted all the walls I was putting up away like (I’m not going to lie when we are there he’s good with our son and helping me out but he isn’t always there for us) then we go to bed and all night he slept through the babies cries and when he would wake up he didn’t once wake up with us but I would wake up and he’d be cuddled up with me and my son (we cosleep while at his house as he doesn’t have anywhere else for my son to sleep) this man has done so much to hurt me and I’m afraid he’s falling into that pattern with my son and eventually my son will get hurt by him too but I don’t know what it is but this man can rope me back in so easily I don’t know if it’s my hopes that I can eventually have that family I always wanted or if it’s the fact that I did love this man at 1 point in our “situationship” and that’s still lingering or what but I swear I tell myself everytime he disappears that’s going to be the last time he ropes me in and then ghost us but it never is 😭
Read more on PeanutThe views expressed in community are solely the opinions of participants, and do not reflect those of Peanut.
Learn more about our guidelines.
Get some self control and stop speaking to him. You're the one causing your own pain by this point because part of you probably figured he'd see his son and magically change. It's not going to happen.
Don't go to his house.
Don't go out "socialize" with him.
Don't answer his calls.
If he's going to speak to you it will only be about your child and through text or email for if you ever decide to pursue child support.
I didn’t have to read your whole post to tell you that 1, a one month old has no business at a football game in November and 2 , that isn’t a great place to spend quality time with his child. At this point you have to look deep within yourself and decide whether you want a revolving door of this man coming in and out of your child’s life, a revolving door of heart break for both you and your son. If you don’t then you need to take appropriate measures to untangle yourself from this man and move on. It’s okay to still feel the way you do about him or to miss the times you shared but you have to do so from a distance. You shouldn’t have to tell a man how to be your man or tell a man how to be a father to his own child. Do right by yourself and your son. Whatever that may look like for you. My biggest piece of advice is if you have doubts , I wouldn’t pursue it.
Seems like you just have an issue with letting go it's okay to let go it's okay to move on I think you need to hear that because a lot of the time we feel that we need this person you don't need someone who doesn't want to be there you see what I'm saying so spend more time with yourself and your baby and see if you like that better
Download the Peanut App
