Baby Shower Advice
So my MIL wanted to throw me a baby shower.. which originally I was ok with on the understanding that my mom would be involved in the planning process (she lives in a different state). My mom knows more of my likes and styles than my MIL does. I’m appreciative she offered but I’m having a lot of issues since I agreed to let it happen.
So my problem is, my MIL has not talked to my mom about anything in regards to the shower. Which I find highly disrespectful. This is my families first grandchild while it’s not my MILs. I’m appreciative that she wanted to throw me one, but I don’t like surprises and I thought she understood this. I have no information on the shower, only the date that was pulled out of her by my mother so I could know ahead of time.
My MIL also wasn’t planning a theme apparently??? And my friend thankfully showed me the invite - which is not my taste. It’s a brown bear with a tacky line invite. I had mentioned before about if I did decide to have a baby shower what I would want the theme to be. Between two options and she claimed to my friend- when asked if there was anything she (friend) could bring for which theme that she (MIL) didn’t know what I chose?? Then turned around today and told my partner that she didn’t know baby showers have themes/wasn’t planning on a theme for the shower??
I’m not asked my thoughts/opinions. Fine. But she doesn’t even ask my mother which I find highly offensive. Why would you not include her?? Am I wrong for being upset? I’m almost at a point I just want to cancel the shower. If it’s not my style/or something I would like, I’m going to have a hard time faking a smile and being happy. This is my first child (a miracle child at that). My mom I know finds this disrespectful too that she doesn’t include her. I don’t know what to do or feel about all this.
**no my partner is no help in this - he is just annoyed at me for being upset/questioning everything , and he isn’t included in the planning either**
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Have your mom just throw one you'd actually like and have a better time there
I wish, but anyone that would be at that one was invited to this one. And I’m more localized to those coming then to her (she lives 8 hours away from me and the our family/friends). I’m also too close to my due date to travel that far unfortunately. With most everyone not being able to attend if she hosted one for me.
Well that sucks and im sorry, outside of being able to talk to MIL and tell her you're not into this, maybe you could (while folks are in town with you) have like a "baby brunch" or a lovely dinner with all the things you'd like food and company wise. My boyfriends mom threw the absolute most cringe of a baby shower for me and it really seemed to be a grandma shower. I gained sanity next day by randomly getting the people I wanted to celebrate with together and we ate a bunch of brunch tapas. It wasn't like a whole babyshower, but it just was a great feel good experience.
I totally wish you the best of luck and I can only suggest to look for a way to make you and your belly baby happy
Oh I feel you. It sounds like you need to set boundaries. I am struggling with this too. My opinion on what I like doesn’t matter and has never been considered- it’s all about the MIL. Sooooo frustrating
Your partner does need to show support too though! It’s your day, your the mother and you are carry the baby. People need to show compassion and consideration.
I’m in a very similar situation but it’s my SIL and my mom. She won’t include her and keeps saying how when my mom says anything it’s not about what she wants or likes. Like uh isn’t it supposed to be about what I want and my mom is telling her what I want. I just feel so bad that my mom isn’t getting to help
My mother in law. When she does showers she just invites her family, and her friends which I think is so weird, so I’m doing my own. Cause she doesn’t extend invites to anyone but the people in her circle
My MIL is throwing a shower and I know nothing about it either other than a date. I doubt it will have a theme but I’m just grateful someone is willing to throw me a shower!
I mean I am appreciate she wants to throw me one. But I hate surprises which has been stated on multiple occasions prior along with the fact that she doesn’t seem to know what she’s doing. But if I had known that, I would have let my friend host one for me instead. Then I’d know I’d enjoy the shower.
But like I said- if it wasn’t for my mom literally pulling teeth to get the date for me (which mil didn’t know it was for me) I would still have no clue when it was. As she mentions nothing around me or to my partner. Not even to my mom.
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