in November 2022 Babies 🇺🇸

Hamster wheel relationship

Sad because breaking up isn’t an option because I love my baby I don’t want to be away from him some days . I just can’t bear it . But my relationship is suffering and making me feel somewhat paralyzed in that aspect . I would say I’m pretty good at being positive and keeping it separate from my role as a mom and I push myself to have some girlfriends but my partner is just so rude to me and sometimes the stuff he tells me gets to me . He is Cuban and very hot tempered and has an aggressive way of speaking and also a little controlling . And it gets under my skin when he tries to tell me something about our baby , like walk away because he’ll throw the food from his table … like I don’t know ? And when I tell him to stop micromanaging me he dismisses me and says well not in a bad way . After we get into it he doesn’t ever fail to remind me that I’m a mom and it’s over for me . So whatever I think I got figured out I don’t . I can’t take it anymore . Everything is an argument . It’s just a hamster wheel and it never stops . He always has the need to tell me about myself or how to do things or what I should do and how to do it and if it’s not that he’s speaking aggressively . I don’t know what to do 😭

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it sounds very toxic. its better to have a happy mom and be separate then have a unhealthy relationship that your child will grow up in. (coming from a child who's parents always fought. i thought the same that i couldn't make it as a single mom. that being away from my baby would kill me and it is hard and you do have days where you feel like you can't keep going but it does get easier. if you are BOTH willing to make the relationship work try family therapy.

What does he mean by you’re a mom and it’s over for you? People naturally get on each other’s nerves sometimes but doing this on a daily basis and doing personal attacks is not healthy and not good for your kid to see. I would talk with him about not being happy with the mistreatment and ask him to help turn the relationship around but I’d also consider life away from him, start saving and making my own game plan if I could see that he was brushing off the seriousness of the situation.

Why isn’t breaking up an option? Are you financially dependent on him? If not, leave as soon as you can.Being belittled,yelled at or controlled isn’t okay.Kids deserve happy parents and a safe home.

Were things better pre-baby and the stress of the baby is getting to him? Are words more heated because the baby is in the middle of screaming and crying? Is he yelling and name calling? It’s important if it’s a matter of safety to know when to call it and look out for yourself, but if it’s something where it’s heated words but he can be reasoned with it might make a difference. It’s all a matter of whether you feel safe or not and whether you think the relationship is worth preserving. If you don’t feel safe, you leave no question.

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