Is my daughter’s father abusive?
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You need to document EVERYTHING with pictures and get your daughter away from him!!!
Yes, that’s a lot. I understand spanking sometimes to discipline, but going so far as to leave bruises, slapping and hair pulling and ripping off her bib or spanking for not eating are completely uncalled for.
Absolutely no judgement I know it's hard to see when you're so close to a situation but a child is much better off being raised by a single parent than in an abusive situation...and this is abuse and inexcusable. Spanking is such a grey area in parenting but imo it should only be used as discipline for times when the childs behavior could cause them physical harm (a little pop to make them connect whatever action with physical discomfort). Hitting so hard you're leaving marks is not okay, especially in such delicate areas as the face/neck. Stop making excuses for this man (like saying he pulled her hair out on "accident" no, his actions were totally unwarranted and preventable) get your child/yourself away from him, document everything, and be safe. 💖
You absolutely need to get your child away from that man before he abuses her again. He should not be with the child until he gets help. If he refuses than you need to leave with her. Please do not allow that POS to touch her again. He's absolutely abusing her.
Yes. It's very extreme. Kids don't know how to regulate their emotions at such a young age. She could also just be discovering new things when she plays with her food and doesn't necessarily eat it. Kids are finicky like that also where one day they might like something and the next they don't and then they like it again. Have you tried having a conversation about it? Why does he do such extreme disciplining? Is his goal for his child to be terrified of him? I agree that children need discipline from early on, but not in the way he's going about it at all.
I work for CPS. Spanking is not considered abuse. BUT If a spanking causes bruises, it's too hard and that's abusive. That baby has a slap mark on the face, he is abusing that baby. It's my suggestion to call CPS on him and document everything. Do other people know of this? It's good to have collaterals
@Stephanie I have tried to speak with him about it. At one point he cried because he realized what he was doing was wrong… it was good for about 2 weeks and the other night when our daughter wasn’t eating, he spanked her (did not leave a mark) but did however pull her hair back to make him look at her. I scolded him for it and he said “tag” meaning he needed to step away and it was my turn to parent.
The tough thing is, I do not have the money to leave him or anywhere to go. I’ve been trying to find a way to leave since September, but I’m trapped. I’m currently enrolled in school, I finish in April and have no one to watch my daughter… and I have no family here in this country. I feel so stuck…
Does he hit/abuse you? I am not sure where you live but there are safe houses for women and children and they help women get back on their feet. A lot of people don't leave abusive situations because they are unaware of services in their state. There are also a domestic violence hotline that can provide resources to you in your area. This is the number 800-799-7233. I'm sure if you explain your situation they can provide services to support you. Feel free to msg me if need. ❤️
@Shannon he doesn’t hit me, but he pinches and jabs his fingers into my ribs and other pressure points. The other night I had a severe panic attack because he was holding me down and it was all because he insisted on yanking out my hang nail. I couldn’t breathe and I was scared. When he seen me panicking he got off me and told me “stop, you need to breathe.” When I finally calmed down, he said “what was that about”… I said “you were holding me down, I couldn’t breathe and panicked” he said “all that over a hang nail?”
@Shannon also, I live in Canada
It sounds like an unhealthy relationship. Okay, my apologies. I am not sure of the resources in Canada 😕. I would assume if you googled domestic violence then there would be a number to call? That's how it works in the States. I hope you find support, you deserve it ❤️
https://www.cawes.com
I only read until bruises on her bum. Yes 100% that is abusive. Yes yes yes. The fact that your questioning it signals to me you already knew it was abusive. You can not let that man spank her. Especially that hard that he’s leaving bruises. That is just a small child. You should leave him, he sounds awful. What kind of person does that to a small child…
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There are plenty of resources if you need to leave with your daughter. I'm sure there's gotta be a women's center somewhere in your city/state where you can ask questions of what resources are available to you and your daughter should you need to leave your home because it is unsafe for you and her.
This is very abusive. The picture is emotionally disturbing and it’s not so much a picture as evidence. You keep making excuses but you can get in trouble if you stay and don’t report it. They will take the child from you both if you do nothing and that is for the best because she deserves safety. He is not spanking, he is beating her. He left a handprint that is clear on her face. He has pulled her hair out. Call the police and start the process. Likely that will mean anger management and parenting classes for him.
Yeah that’s pretty extreme