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Incognito Only! 👻

What should I do?

Not sure if this is the right group to post this but here I go

I'm not sure if I'm in love with my husband or just complacent with how everything is and scared of things being worse as the grass isn't greener on the other side. I have been with him for 13 years we have 2 kids together and I have 1 from a dead beat. I don't think I want to stay with him for multiple reasons. 1 being how we're living. And I feel like I'm not allowed to make moves or money but he doesn't give me any. I would think about going back to work and I'm met with who is going to get the kids to school or pick them up. Then I don't feel love from him and we don't partake on the martial act. Rarely been months and before was cause he was stressed and tired but everything he said that stopped him from partaking is gone kinda so he isn't stressed. He fights with me more now. I feel like I can't count on him honestly I feel one day he's going to just up and leave me and I don't really care of he does I'm just scared that everything is in his name even our medicaid account and I have a serious health issue that I can't lose it. So me trying to apply for my own isn't an option. I don't feel like my old self I'm starting to feel like he slowly made me not be my independent self and not I feel like I can't make any moves and are stuck here. And I feel like he knows it and doesn't care about me just don't want to be in another faild marriage. Even tho he says that's not it. But doesn't say it's cause of love either. I know this is
All over the place. But I just want to be secure in myself if he does decide to leave