What is a nice way of telling my mother to STOP
My mom has been very helpful but now she’s starting to stress me out. She has never listened to my requests and rules with my daughter bc “I’m the grandma I give her whatever I want”. It would annoy me but I never said anything bc oh well it’s one day a week. Now that my daughter is older though it’s become so stressful. My daughter is a whole different person if my mom’s in a room. I get so annoyed. My daughter suddenly becomes whiny demanding mean tantrum little terror. When I bring her home from my mom’s she’s throwing tantrums for TVs and cookies. My daughter was once sleep trained and slept so well and now I’m always having to hold her bc her grandma did and now she’ll scream and scream any other way. My pediatrician had said to let her CIO before she’s older and more aware but it hurts me. I’m angry it’s come to this. I’m angry I put in all this effort to raise her a way and my mom thinks it’s funny to not do it. She thinks it’s cute and “I’m grandma I only have her one day” and now I’m stuck dealing with it at home everyday. She giggles and tells her family members and they’re all looking at me like “you’re ok with this??” I’m so mad right now.
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I'd hit her with "if you can't respect me as a parent then u don't get to grandparent". Have a talk with her about the problems it's causing at home, if not then grandma can hang out with all of u while she spends time. Grandparents get excited to spoil a kid, but that's no excuse to disregard and disrespect. A nice way? There's no nice way, but you can say "well, seems like she'll have to stop going over there for a while if this is what happens". Don't let the incoming guilt trips bother you, yes they're coming. Good luck!
I hate to say it but you're going to have to be straight up with her. It's going to hurt her feelings probably but you are the mother and those are your boundaries for your daughter. I've had to do the same thing with my mother albeit maybe not harshly. But sometimes when you establish that boundary, you might have to be a little on the harsher side. undoing what you've worked hard to do and undermining your authority as a mom isn't cute and grandparents need to understand that
I had a very similar situation with my parents. It was very toxic and stressful and my son had a lot of setbacks in his behavior. I would try to tell them my issues and they wouldn’t listen or make excuses. Things spiraled out of control and I had to cut ties with them.
You need to have a clear conversation with your mother. Set clear limits with her. Be clear with your rules with your child. If this doesn’t work. Then limit your child’s visits with her.
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