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First time mums

God heal me

God knows I tried

What do you do when all your future plans comes crashing down. How do you move on when the person you thought was your forever life partner doesn’t want to be with you anymore. I wish I can simply erase how I feel for him. I choose to love this man but I don’t know how to stop loving him. Even with his flaws, even though he has told me in every letter of the alphabet that he doesn’t want to be with me somehow my heart still wants him. I have never felt so low and so small in my life. I have be hurt before but with him I feel destroyed. No single ounce of self esteem or confidence left in me.

I’m in the worst state mentally and physically. I don’t want to be a single mother I don’t want my child to grow up in a house where her father doesn’t live there. My heart breaks each time I remember he once adored me. Now my tears or pain doesn’t faze him. I know I’m a fool for wanting someone who doesn’t value me but this was man I plan all my future with the only person I loved without reservation the person I would’ve entrusted with my life without a second thought.

He walks across the room without acknowledging my existence I’m just an inconvenience to him. I look at my child and I see him and my heart breaks over and over again.

How do I stop loving him? God please fixed me. I’m not built for this kind of pain. God please heal me heal my heart.

He doesn’t love me anymore. The thought of him loving someone else kills me. He was supposed to be the love of my life the father to my children my husband

God please heal my heart. Give me strength and peace to move on for the sake of my baby.

I know I’m not perfect but I know I didn’t do him wrong. I have loved him knowing his flaws and all. I don’t deserve this kind of pain