Cheating??

you are absolutely right! Me and my partner were together before we had kids and honestly it was so much fun then and I think we need to get that back. Thank you for your comment and not much hate in there either x

Ps I will be breaking this off today.

This right here is why I worry, honestly, how can you go home and live and be happy with your partner knowing you want to do it all with someone else? Not a hate question just a general question

I don’t really know what to say because it’s not something I have experienced all I would say is honestly if you are having these feelings for someone else why don’t you be open and honest about it your partner is clearly not making you as happy as this other person is. It might help rebuild the feelings between you two? I honestly don’t know but I feel like acting like it never happened is not nice for your partner 🙃 or maybe even you keeping feelings like that locked away I can only imagine not a nice feeling

I really don’t know what to say, but also in regards to his family that’s not your concerns at all he is clearly feeling you and the fact he’s saying he would wait for you is already showing he’s wanting what ever he has got to be over maybe it will be better for the both of youse?

It’s a really difficult one and If you ever need to talk to someone I’m here there must be a reason you went to meet someone to begin with.

Are you really happy where you are? And is your partner happy? X

so I’m 30 now and I’ve known this person since I was 15 and he was maybe 19 at the time. He is my friends brother and I don’t know it just made me feel like me, not the mum me but the actual me. My partner has no idea of my feelings about myself at all and that’s all on me! This is all on me 😢

Can I just add to this post not for one minute do I think that what I have done is right or have any kind of excuse I just needed to say it out loud and see how ridiculous I am!

The only thing I could suggest is talking to him, I honestly know that keeping secrets etc can kill you inside and affect the way you are/act etc it’s definitely not good to keep feelings inside

Is your partner understanding do youse have good communication?

Don’t blame your self you have not acted on these feelings and that’s more than anyone else can say you and this person clearly have a history and you haven’t acted on it so it shows you are good person inside just muddled with feelings

I think that’s what I’m feeling I’m looking at my children like what am I doing! I’m not a young teenager anymore running around meeting up with people I’m a mother of two, it’s killing me knowing that I am capable of this. We’ve been together 10 years, he is very open I’ve had a hard time on my own caring for my children while he is never here (not an excuse) like I posted nothing has happened between us but we have met up and had a few chats but nothing more. X

Exactly, that’s more than other people can say with situations like this so don’t blame your self your already going through enough.

I wish I could offer support, but I don’t know how different scenarios would go I honestly think speaking to your partner will make you feel better even if you decide not to tell him I would talk to him about your feelings and like said get some spark back into your relationship if that’s what you want.

Ultimately the end goal though is for you to be happy 🫶

thank you so much for your kind words! Honestly as much as support goes your words have been more than comforting. I will take the advice and I will speak to him tonight when he gets home about our relationship. And in regards to him I will be breaking that off I feel as though if I was happy about all this I wouldn’t be feeling the way I do now. I feel even more down and low having done this. So I know it’s a mistake. Thank you again ❤️

No problem and I hope your relationship can get back on track and be happy 🫶❤️

Message me if you need a chat, I've been in a similar situation but on the other side of it x

awww I’m so sorry this happened to you! I hope he made the correct option in the end x

This is the definition of “emotional cheating” If you are not happy with your partner you either leave or talk to them or sort out the problem the fact you know it is wrong suggests you know you should stop before it gets to far in sorry if this sounds harsh but you need to stop before something happens for the worse for either sides! 😅

When you have been with the same person for a long time, it feels so nice to get attention from someone if you're not getting that from your husband. I was with my ex-husband for 12 years, so I know the feeling. It's not worth ruining your family, or his, if you with love and want to be with your current partners. As someone else stated, work on your marriage and get what you need from him, and you won't look to another to make you feel the way your husband should. If you already feel bad about yourself for what you're doing, imagine how you would feel if something sexual happened. If yalls current relationships fail one day in the future for reasons that have nothing to do with yalls thing, then go for it. If he wanted to be with you, he would end his relationship for you NOW, not wait for you. And vice versa.

you don’t sound harsh at all thank you for your advice. X

yeah maybe it is that but it’s still no excuse on my part. Thank you so much for your comment! You are very right. X

I'm in a similar situation but I'm trying to figure things out w my marriage. It is simple and complex all at the same time and I hate that. You can PM me for a no judging chat.

I know noone cheats out of happiness. But nothing good comes out of it anyway.

Had you no kids, I’d recommend getting rid of both men and building your happiness starting from YOU (this hate you have towards yourself needs to go. Forgive yourself. Understand the reasons behind what brought you there in the first place.)

Kids make things more complicated. In this case, think it through. Are you and your partner really happy? Can you be? What needs to be true?

Coming out to him might feel appealing and will make you feel tons better, but will likely NOT help with your happiness. Not when you hate yourself and think you deserve the worst.

Either way. Cut it off now. Just plain stop, block, disappear Let the other guy figure things out for him and his family. You’ve got your problems, and if you’re really meant to be together, it’ll eventually happen if/when you are both single.

My heart goes out to you. Tough times lay ahead. I hope you forgive yourself and find your inner peace 🤗

It sounds mysogenistic, but men are fit less for forgiving unfaithfulness even less than women. And that’s when we aren’t really good at it either. In your case it’s possible that you’re making the emotion bigger than it really is. Nothing happened after all. You met a guy you used to know and chatted a bit. Figure it out yourself and if you need, present it to your partner that way, not as cheating. You sensed it had the potential to grow until something else and you stopped it.

It will make you feel better, and might not hurt him as much. I’d probably still choose not coming out to him. Not until you figure things out and cool down the emotions.

If you and him talk to your partners maybe see if opening up the relationship for each other may be a good idea. You can be poly! It can work and honestly it could be a good idea if the kids are around the same age!! You like the thrill of the potential affair, it could just be that you’ve had feelings for this person since yall met, and this just brought them out

I'd speak to your partner before anything ends up going further. Something must be missing for you to feel like you need to look anywhere else. Personally I don't understand anyone that could or would cheat if you're not happy leave don't be a coward and play both roles. All whilst lying to yourself, your kids and your husband.

So I’ve took everyone’s advice on here today can I first say thank you all for the comments and the very good advice! I’ve had no hate comments which is really wasn’t expecting at all! I don’t think anyone could give me anymore grief than I’ve given myself over this subject, but I’ve messaged the guy in question and explained that nothing would ever happen between us and that I love my partner! Now I don’t know what kind of backlash I will get from this but whatever I get I’m sure I deserve. I’ve also planned for my mum to have our children tonight so we can have a date night and a chat about things! I’m not sure if I’m going to tell him everything tonight but I will see how it goes. Thank you all for being so understanding. You are a bunch of lovely women! I guess I just didn’t think I was the type of woman to stray because of some compliments! I don’t know if anyone of you feel like your just not yourself anymore since having children I often feel as though we aren’t the same people

And that we are just now mum and dad now… I guess I was just made to feel like the old me, the me before I had my kids and was fun! Thank you all again x

Your partner should still make you feel good. So definitely talk to him. I know mine still makes me feel a million dollars so the thought of anyone else even talking to me makes me cringe. If it's not this guy it will be the next so I'd make it known of what's missing and what you need to fill that void

your absolutely right! I’m happy your husband makes you feel that way as I’m sure you deserve it 🥰

I’m glad you ended up on the good side of peanut because you seem like a really decent person I hope you get the happiness you deserve and live your best life.

Also don’t put your self down it’s not just “some compliments” there is always something deeper and I believe you and your partner will work it out and however it ends it will be best for you good luck ❤️ x

thank you so much! To be brutally honest I feel like I come here to hear the judgement because I feel like that’s what I wanted and needed to hear! Thank you again for your words of wisdom! Your friends must love you 😂😂😂

Thank you lovely ❤️

I totally get that if I was a man right now I would be getting totally slated to the high heavens!

Oh no I don’t have friends hahaha, but honestly I’m wishing you the best of luck 🤣🤣🫶

way to be judgemental… this wasn’t necessary

not being judgmental. Being honest. If she cared she wouldn’t have done it in the first place. Then to debate on keeping it going. Either divorce or open your marriage. Cheating is shitty. Because if it was the other way around and her man was cheating on her, yall would be so defensive and be telling her to move on or go to therapy. Double sided people you all are. So don’t come at me for being judgemental when everyone on this feed knows damn well cheating on your spouse in a MARRIAGE is wrong.

it is judegemental… she came here for advice, not to be told things such as she’s a homewrecker. Calling someone a homewrecker over just the post and not even reading the comments where she said she broke things off and is talking with her husband tonight. Dude your comment was unnecessary. Sometimes things like this happen. And she wanted advice on what to do. Definitely love being told I’m a double sided person for calling out you being rude when it wasn’t necessary 🤣🤣 I definitely wouldn’t tell her to do anything, besides communicate. Which I did in my earlier comment directly to her. You went straight to calling names, and judging her.

that’s what most girls are best at and why I don’t want any friends 😂🤣

can I clarify that he is NOT my husband he is my boyfriend. We are not married. Also if you would of read the comments you would see that we’ve met up and chatted nothing sexual has happened at all. I think starting a sexual relationship, taking him from his family and continuing this would be considered a “home wrecker” as you say but I have not done any of these things. I have broken this off before anything physical had happened. I came here for advice as I was struggling mentally. I thought I needed these kind of comments from the likes of you but It turned out I didn’t. I needed to be honest with myself and my partner and that’s exactly what I did last night. May I add I didn’t debate to keep it going at all like you suggested. You are right though if i were a man right now I would be getting a lot worse than your comments. That we agree on! I didn’t need your personal attack I needed advice on a situation I was struggling with. I’m sorry I’m not as perfect as you. Good day

I agree 🥰 it’s my own fault though I did put the post up I guess! I think il remove it though as I’ve had all the advice I needed from
All you lovely ladies ❤️

I don’t blame you and honestly don’t worry because I can guarantee you now she will not be perfect 😅🤣

never claimed to be perfect. Thanks though 😘

You are correct on that then. I assumed you two were married with how long you two were together. But basically are without the legalization. Homewrecking is any act of bad whether it be just thinking about it or actually committing it. Bcuz again if roles were reversed and your boyfriend was getting fancied over some woman, everyone would see it as wrong and homewrecking still. Whether it be sexual or not you still fancied the idea.
Side note; you’re really one to be talking about being judgmental when all I did was state my opinion. You came at me for simply doing so. So yeah maybe I was in the wrong for assuming certain things but I’m not the only one who was. 😘 If my friend was doing some dumb shit I wouldn’t sit back and let her continue. I would be real with her and tell her she needs to get her shit together maybe that’s the difference with real friends though. You girls are so sensitive over specifics and truly don’t want to see the bigger picture.
I’m glad

You spoke with your husband and broke things off. But that’s not going to take his pain away or the fact that it was done away.
Stay safe and learn to communicate your feelings. Being with someone that long can alter feelings. But don’t cheat. There are so many options. Open marriage, counseling, therapy, more date nights to expand your feelings towards one another.

Boyfriend * again sorry.

and now that you’ve said that it makes sense and your right I’m not saying that your not but you come on here and commented two words “HOME WRECKER” without anything else. Come here and tell me I was wrong because I was!! Come here and tell me to sort my life out because I should of, but you didn’t you just said that! Didn’t even elaborate on anything that was said!

You are right, I should have elaborated. Didn’t think that much into it. Thanks for actually speaking about it though and not trying to go off on me like other people😂. But taking initiative and realizing you’ve done wrong. Steps in the right direction! Pray everything works out for you and your bf. Stay safe.

after some of the comments yesterday I knew it and I felt it! I wanted the hate and I really did but what good is that to me now! I have children and a partner I’m not in my 20s anymore 😂 but it’s broken off completely before anything happened and I’m trying to move forward with him. Someone did comment saying if it’s not him it would be someone else. I knew this guy from being 16 years old and I bumped into him one night and I really wish I never! Believe me if this was another woman I would be feeling the same way as you. Unfortunately others may not have thought much into it but it’s all I’ve thought about. Thank you for your well wishes

Yeah I really do not agree with any form of cheating weather it be emotional or physical, but at the end of the day she wrote a paragraph explaining the pain and how much she regrets it asking for help and you weighed in with fuck all.

I’m not sensitive I’m far from it, but you don’t kick someone when there already down and expressing hate for themself you can clearly tell by the post and all the comments she regrets the feelings she had your two words were just not needed 🤷🏽‍♀️

What you done was the equivalent to hitting your kid instead of telling them what there doing is wrong - your last comments 👏 beautiful better than I could have said my self


We can all improve let’s help each other