Toddler hitting others
Hey mamas, so my 17 month old has started expressing frustration by throwing things, hitting and pulling others hair, head banging. So for a while it happened only at home, and we continuously reinforce gentle hands, deep breaths and not display big reactions to that behaviour. He goes to daycare, there have been a few instances of him throwing toys, hitting other kids/teachers. Today his teacher told us to keep telling him at home to not do that, before something serious happens. I felt really bad, because we are trying to help our child understand and I felt the teacher wasn't being considerate or kind about the situation. He's almost 18 months and that's an age for a lot of developmental changes. On one hand I feel like a bad parent and on the other hand feel the daycare teachers can be more warm and understanding about this. I know they have a responsibility for the safety of all kids, but don't make it look like he's a bad kid. Any other mamas face this? Advice? ☹️
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My advice would be to first validate his emotions and disprove the behaviour and then offer another avenue to express the emotions. It can sound something like this: I can see that you're upset that xxxx. it's ok to feel upset, it's not ok to hit someone. When we feel upset we can stomp our feet / sqeeze a fist / whatever you think would resonate with your child.
Good luck mama!
It sounds like you’re doing all the right things! I would also ask how the daycare handles it when he throws things. If they are making a big reaction about it or just telling him ‘don’t do that’ they could be the one re enforcing his behaviour.
I also agree he is going through some big leaps! And most times it is just a phase but focusing on gentle hands is something we do too.
You could also plan some appropriate throwing activities to get it out of his system. I like the tape across a door way and throwing ball pit balls at it.
The book “hands are not for hitting” helped us a lot but it’s a lot of repetition with gentle hands and understanding what is triggering the reaction. We came up with bean bags and small soft balls to practice throwing to meet her need to throw. We did deep breaths and taking a moment to pause and close our eyes. We’ve been exploring feelings more with books and toys to understand and express things like anger, frustration, etc.
Thank you, this is very helpful! If possible, can you please share names/links of the other books and toys you got?
Thanks mama ❤️, good idea, coincidentally we just got balls for a ball pit few days back😂
Appreciate the advice!
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