Separation from partner
Has anyone else separated from their partner since having little one? If so how are you coping?
Me and my partner were together 8 years before little one came along, were trying for 4 years before we got pregnant so baby wasn’t out of the blue. Now baby is here he has decided he wants to go out every weekend to play poker and because I’ve said that’s not acceptable he’s leaving because I’m controlling his life and he’s moving 2 and a half hours away and said he will try and see little one “when he can” perhaps twice a month.
I just feel lost, I had a really traumatic birth, I got sepsis and me and baby almost died. I’m still poorly now 6 months on. He’s leaving me with the house, baby, pets etc to pay for whilst he goes back to his parents to go out all the time.
I’m still suffering with PTSD, anxiety and depression and I’m terrified to be doing all of this by myself. I’m just not sure how I’m going to cope.
He also says nasty things like “he doesn’t even like me, he only likes when I don’t speak” or “he only had sex with me the other night because he was horny and it’s better to do it with me than someone else”
I’m sorry for the rant I just feel so worthless, I’m hurting and I’m heartbroken and struggling😢
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God, you must be so tired and sore right now.
The brutal truth is that he's not interested in being with you or the baby and that he's a complete loser who doesn't deserve the either of you.
Some questions: Do you have a support network (family/friends)?
Are you ok financially?
Are you managing ok all things considered?
Try and get some anger in you, he's seriously wronged you here. Try and get financial support from it but otherwise consider him gone. Make copies of all your conversations with him and be careful what you say incase he ever decides to go for custody and twists the truth. Please reach out to anyone you can for support. It's going to be difficult for awhile but you and your beautiful baby will be better off flying solo
Side note: if you're in the North East and need a friend, im happy to help out. Inbox is open in either case.
Love you x
You really need a hug.
Your partner sounds horrible to you and definitely not a responsible father. I know it's very hard atm, but both you and your baby will be better off without him in long run.
Feel free to message me if you want someone to talk to.
There is help available for situations like this. I’d contact citizens advice maybe. I know of a mum this happened to and she got help paying her mortgage.
As others have said here. It sounds like you’re better off. What I found out is that some men just aren’t cut out to be dads. If he’s behaving like this now and can happily vocalise these nasty comments to you imagine how damaging he could be as a father.
I’m going to guess he’s not supported you with the day to day since your bub was born (ie giving you a break/sharing some of the load etc) and I can tell you from experience that’s not going to change. And the more you hope he might change and become the father and partner you want him to be, the more you’ll be disappointed.
Honestly I’d be thankful that he’s moving away and will have little input. He’s showing his true colours and leopards don’t change their spots.
I’m really sorry you’re going through this.
If you need a friend and your local to london/kent please msg ❤️
How awful of him. All things considered I bet you’re still doing all you can for baby and that will forever be your priority, as sad as it is. It might be a weight off your shoulder in the end, many less worries from his behaviour etc, hope that makes sense. Inbox is always open wide. Sending love xxx
Sending you so much love. ❤️
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