At a loss with the tantrums

I don't know what to do anymore. My 2.5 year old has these horrible tantrums, but he only does it with me. I mean kicking, screaming, scratching, hitting tantrums. My boyfriend blames me for it. Says it's because I spoiled him. I keep telling him that they act out the most with the person they're most comfortable with, but he refuses to listen to that because he says his older kids didn't act like that. But he didn't live with them full time, and he's already told me that their mom use to call him all the time because she couldn't get them to act right. I try to ignore the tantrums, I try to redirect, I try to get him to sit in time out, nothing works. I'm sitting here writing this in tears because he just had another tantrum, which led my bf to yell at me, telling me to leave our son alone and telling me that I need to get his issues fixed and that we both need therapy. He then proceeded to tell me that I'm a loser because the weather is nice and we're not out doing anything. That we should be outside playing or doing something. That all we ever do is sit in the house or go grocery shopping. What he fails to realize though is that it's nap time, and that's the main reason for the tantrum. He also fails to realize how exhausted I am. I work full time, take care of our son full time, I'm the one that runs all the errands for everybody, including him (he has a disability that prevents him from driving), I'm the cook, the maid, the chauffer, everything for everybody. And there's nobody taking care of me. I'm pouring from an empty cup, and every time I try to take some time for me, there's some BS that comes, and I'm put on the back burner yet again.