Friend just had a miscarriage

My friend just miscarried at 7 weeks I’m currently 34 weeks. I‘m trying to be here for her but I really don’t know how to handle the situation she’s really upset as she’s 40 years old and worried she’s left things late. She keeps asking me specific details now of how far along I am she’s like 34 plus what are you? I shouldn’t feel uncomfortable but I feel like she’s become a bit obsessive with monitoring my pregnancy since losing her baby. Any tips how I can be there for her and still protect myself

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My best friend had a miscarriage when I was 9 months pregnant and was about to give birth any day. It was so horrible to see her go through such an awful thing when I was just about to have my little miracle. We talked it through and cried for ages and I just reiterated how sorry I am and how it will happen for her (she now has a one year old!) and she just said how she is so excited for me and how this doesn’t take away from the fact she’s still super happy for me. If you’re close friends then I’m sure she is really happy for you even though she’s grieving and most likely wants to be there for you as she is now not going through it anymore. Sending lots of love x

I agree!
I think it’s the right thing to do to protect your energy and space at this time.

I know it may feel bad but casually send a message of love and encouragement here and there but honestly you need to put yourself first for the last few weeks and focus on delivering a healthy baby xx

So I had a miscarriage in October and my friend is going to be induced in 4 days time.

So just coming from the other point of view...

I ask her questions just so she knows that im still up for hearing about her pregnancy. Some people may not want to hear about it at all or other may only want to hear at certain times (so like for me, I wouldn't want to be talking about someone's successful pregnancy on my due day of the baby I lost) so for me i ask questions so my friend knows that I am open for talking about her pregnancy.

Please be kind. Your friend is grieving and could also be in denial about it still. Also communicate, if she is making you feel uncomfortable, tell her rather than distancing your self, she's going through a lot and needs a friend

It it’s causing you stress or anxiety then take a step back from her.. your babies and family come first anyway, im pregnant with my second child and I barely give anyone the time of day just my family, baby, partner, job and gym 😂

Hi lovely- having had 3 losses I can see it from both sides.
I agree with everyone else in terms of you need to look after yourself and the baby, and so always keep that in the forefront and try not to get into a situation you are finding stressful (if she’s a close friend assume you can gently tell her you’re scared of things going wrong for you at this late stage and want/need to stay as calm as possible)
On the other side- early loss is the most isolating, confusing thing to go through. Your friend is probably absolutely devastated, alongside being envious of you but feeling guilty for being envious so trying to show her interest maybe a bit too enthusiastically.
I reckon just be open and honest with her, in terms of how you’re feeling and what you actually need from her gently, and make sure she knows you’re there to hold her hand if she needs.
I don’t know if that makes any sense. It’s a horrible situation for the both of you! Xxx

I agree I have a friend who had a miscarriage at 18 weeks & now I’m 21 weeks & we dnt speak anymore. I checked on her a few times then she disappeared. I take it as she doesn’t feel comfortable talking bout pregnancy anymore since we dnt have that in common anymore and she stopped liking everything I post about pregnancy now. I dnt take it personal bc grief is painful but I sure do miss our pregnancy talks at least you still show concern. Your genuine 🫶🏽

it's a hard one. We've been friends for 16 years so she's like my right arm now but I can get both points of view. Obviously she has more friends than just me so she can message others but I get for her it's difficult to stop and think 'would Rosie want to know this' and its really not fair on her. But at the same time it's like i should be going through that too as we were only 2 weeks apart.

It was 5 months ago that it happened so I'm more through the grief now and becoming a mom of an angel now but boy wasn't it difficult at the start.

Congrats on your rainbow baby , I know it had to be sooooo hard. Praying for a healthy pregnancy for you 🥰♥️🙏🏽

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Oh my God, oh my God I hope this is not true!!!! I’m kind of scared

I’ve been throwing up and taking a shit all night!!! I just hope that it’s not what I think it is

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They said everything was fine whilst we were in the scan and then I got a phone call the next day saying that it’s on the small side and we’re being referred to a paediatric specialist at St George’s. Has anyone else had this and how did things go??

Would you bring 9 week old to a family party of 35+ people?

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What movement did people start to introduce? I won’t do anything too vigorous until I’ve seen the pelvic physio as I don’t want to compromise anything that may have been extremely weakened through pregnancy! But just wondering what types of classes/movement people started off with?

Induction experience

I just wanted to share my experience with being induced as I wasn’t sure what to expect and thought it may help others.

I opted for the foley balloon which was inserted at 8am Saturday morning, I had to stay in hospital due to hypertension and protein urine however usually you can just go home once this has been done. The insertion of the balloon was not painful, was slightly uncomfortable as there was slight pressure. I actually found having the cervix checked prior to be worse (again not painful at this point just uncomfortable) The balloon had little effect and after having it removed I was still only 1cm. Removal also was pain free and hardly even noticeable.

I then had my first dose of the gel and definitely noticed a difference, I started experiencing period like cramps almost immediately however they were light and manageable. After 6 hours I had another cervix check and although my cervix was soft it was still only 1cm and was only open at the front. I had another dose of the gel and felt an increase in pressure and more intense cramping where I now required pain relief (codeine). After another 6 hours I had another cervix check and I had now dilated to 2-3cm however was still quite difficult to get all the way through so a third gel was recommended which I agreed to.

Almost immediately I noticed the difference and was in considerable pain, I had paracetamol and codeine however the contractions had now become intense and a lot closer together (around 3 minutes apart). After a couple of hours I had my last cervix check and was 4cm and taken down to the Labour ward to have my waters broken and an epidural.

I had been in my room for approx 20minutes when my waters broke by themselves and I was now 10cm and actively pushing…. There was no time for the epidural and my beautiful girl arrived into the world within 2 minutes of pushing.

All in all I would say the cramps/contractions were manageable up until the third gel where it became pretty unbearable however it was for a very short time a gas and air helped take the edge off. The worst part about any of it was actually the later cervix checks where after stimulating the cervix my contractions were at their most painful.

If I had to be induced again I would skip the balloon and opt for the gels immediately as thy had a quicker effect and I would have been out a lot sooner if I had done this to begin with.

One more thing, I’ve never believed when people say “you forget the pain once they’re here” but I can honestly say this is true. It’s been 4 days and I would do it all again in a heartbeat.

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