MIL advice

I need some advice. Since I was pregnant, my boyfriends parents (mostly mom) keeps asking me when I’m going to get our son baptized. He’s five weeks old and she doesn’t listen when I tell her that we’re waiting for him to be old enough to choose. I am Christian and his family is catholic. I was baptized when I was a baby but grew up going to a Christian church so when I was 10, I made the decision to convert to Christianity. They always shame me for that. My baby and I will be going to my church once he’s 8 weeks+. I respect they’re beliefs but I don’t like how they keep telling me my son is born in sin and isn’t blessed because my boyfriend and I aren’t married. My boyfriend thinks the same as me and wants to wait for him to be old enough to choose himself. I don’t know what else to do. She is disrespectful every time I see her and thinks i dont know what im doing because im young. mind you, she had my boyfriend when she was 15 and moved here from Mexico.
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I think this is a hard one because when you have strong beliefs you will worry about your grandchild. I don’t think age is a factor here but I think they are using it as an excuse as to why you’re not acting appropriately to what they want. I hope that makes sense. I’m sure there is a way that your child can be baptised/ christened or both so it leaves the door open for them to choose in the future. If your only bringing your child to one church then to me your not giving them the experience needed to want to choose, therefore the choice has already been made. https://www.interchurchfamilies.org.uk/baptism

In my opinion, when a couple has a baby out of wedlock, the baby is innocent.

In The Church I attended, no one is baptized until the age of accountability. Which is 8 years old. The child chooses then. I remember making the decision for myself when so was seven. I felt the Holy Ghost tell me the gospel as found in the church was true. My father had the priesthood, and baptized me (which is common in our church.)

I can imagine my family might be confused and hurt if one of my siblings decided not to baptize their child. The thing is, it is ultimately not Grandma's decision. She is done raising her child. She is a matriarch, and has wisdom and leadership, but it is up to the parents and child. Not the grandparent.

@Lesley I’m all for him not only going to my church, but his father doesn’t go to church, and I don’t know them well enough yet to just hand him over to them yknow? I just wish they would respect our decision. I don’t want him to be baptized catholic and grow up and choose to convert (if he chooses) and them tell him that he committed a horrible sin like they did me. Also, maybe if they had been more involved during my pregnancy as well. I was treated horribly by his mom. She was calling me a slut in Spanish to her friends, she didn’t want to come to the baby shower. On the gender reveal day, she stormed out and said we’re celebrating something that shouldn’t be celebrated. And now when she holds my baby she says things like “oh you love abuela more than mama right?” And she kissed his face when we have told them so many times no kissing the baby. 😔

It is good you are taking her wishes to heart. I am sorry it hurts so much to be othered by family. Christ loves each of his children. He calls us away from sin, into his forgiving embrace. He doesn't go around shaming us.

Your boyfriend has to man up and set a boundary with his parents. You shouldn’t have to fight them off or be made feel uncomfortable. Have a heart to heart with your bf so he understands how much pressure his mom puts on you. Then ask him how he plans on handling it, and when.

@Nat I think their actions speak volumes. I didn’t realise they were so horrible and they are supposed to be setting a good example to their congregation. Honestly I think anyone with a right mind wouldn’t want to brought up in a congregation like that. 🫠 I don’t think your child will pick their church for that reason.

Maybe, all her to point out in scripture where it tells you to baptize a baby. Otherwise, she can end the conversation. Tell her you're following what the bible says, not her, and that the Word of God is the ultimate authority.

This is up to no one but you and you’re making a great choice by letting your baby choose! I was baptized at 6 years old and still didn’t know what the heck I was doing. Now at 29 I am an atheist, and we get the same pressure from family asking if we will be baptizing our baby (we won’t). I grew up going to church and was a Christian until my mid twenties, I understand the argument of “they just care about their grandchildren”. But, this is not about the grandparents. This is about you doing what you feel is best for your baby and nothing else matters.

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