Is it normal?
I lost my first baby at 10 weeks due to my ex partner abusing me and I know I'm 21 weeks with a baby boy but I think about my first baby and how they might of been a girl and know when I look at my baby's things I imagine it all beautiful and princessed and how tomorrow would of been her 2nd birthday and how stunning she would look in so many dresses and even know I cry everyday bc I love her so much and I feel like I'm replacing her bc I choose to stay with my ex and get her killed and now I'm pregnant and he is going to get a chance at living and she doesn't is it normal to love and miss a baby u never got to meet or see
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For me I don't think the living child is going to replace the ones I have lost, my first should be a 5 year old, and for each of my losses I still think about the milestones we miss together, and mourn them. It sounds like what you went through was incredibly traumatic and it will be hard to heal from that, but it was absolutely not your fault. Yes you should have left but there was no way you could have seen the future in the moment, and as someone who has been in an abusive relationship it is so hard to leave, even without being pregnant. I'm sorry for your loss, but I am glad you have your rainbow baby and I know he will be a joy in your life. No amount of love you have for him will take away the love you have for your angel baby
You should.know that your feeling are valid and you have every right to be sad and cry and miss her. She was a life you had inside you. Your body still went through postpartum. You are fine to mourn the lost. I think this is natural. Also I will say I would consider talking to someone about healing from this. There are people called bereavement doulas that do this. I wish you luck mama and congrats on your rainbow baby