Husband cheated on adult FaceTime chat
This is long so I understand if you don’t read this but today has been an extremely odd day and I don’t know what to do after all the events and then to top it off I find this bs. I’m 24 first time mom and married almost a year with my marine husband who I’ve dated for three years. We broke up twice in those three years, first because we got in a fight while he was deployed in Okinawa over something stupid and after he left evidence on his Snapchat which I’d keep up our streaks on while he didn’t have service, there was a chat left embarrassingly from a sex bot which he was hoping to meet up with for sex but they ended up scamming him $500 and he gave up when realizing he was being scammed lol. We were broken up and long story short my stupid ass went back after he begged and proved he was getting therapy and deleted his social medias only then a year after we broke up again cause he reenlisted and a few months after he begged me to come back only for me to find out he was still flirting this girl who worked in the chow hall which he swears to this day she was “just a friend”. I found out cause she reached out to me. I broke up with him for 3 months and even got so close into enlisting into the airforce cause I moved states for this guy cause we planned on living in Utah after he’d get out (but he reenlisted). I had no way of getting back to Cali and nothing there for me so I decided to sign up for the Air Force but last minute right before I was sworn in he talked with my mom and said he was changing (stop drinking etc) and was wanting to help out with my family because he missed me. I took a trip out to visit my family the week he was helping my mom move and I fell under his charm shortly after we engaged and a week later found out I was pregnant and we married the same month we engaged. I’m living on base now, jobless as a stay at home mom. Postpartum has been rough cause of recovery. Only now after a day dealing with drama with the in laws about our baby that he has been on a site called saucytime (FaceTime for sex) beating off to a topless sex worker. Also I was skeptical cause I saw after the drama he went to “pick up” food and was stopped at a hotel on his location. I immediately called and got him home the second he got there. Also saw an odd charge of $100 on our statement right after which on the phone he said was for his other bank that was “overdrafted” all while I’m with our child who also was in the midst of a cough fit that scared me. He’s about to go on deployment and I don’t trust him. I haven’t said anything to him but I’m not letting him kiss me and barely letting him touch me. It’s night and today has been awful but I don’t know what to say or do. I was stupid I should’ve joined the Air Force but at the same time I’m happy I had my daughter but now I don’t know what to do. No money, no job and none of my family have their own places they are in boarding houses! We haven’t even been married for a year idk what to do and yea I know I’m stupid I should’ve realized but I was blinded. Also he had the nerve to get upset when finding out I dated other guys and sent nudes when we were broken up and not together which baffles me. I don’t know, if you read this far is there any advice you can give me? I don’t think I want to continue this marriage yet idk what to do due to my circumstances.
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I'm also a Marine wife. There's lots of resources out there, though I'm not sure where you'd find everything. But I completely understand you, it's not ok. You are postpartum, he's supposed to be supportive and not going against your trust. I'm so sorry.
However if you do leave, know that he will be on child support. He's a marine, the rules are on your side.
I don’t have advice honestly. Big hugs to you and if you ever need someone to chat with you can message me!
This is honestly a really crazy story, and I’m very sad this happened to you. I don’t want to say leave him bc it’s easier said than done but sheesh, if you’re already at the point where you don’t even want to be affectionate with him, don’t trust him, and you know that you were blinded all those times, what’s keeping you with him? Your daughter? If it’s your baby, just know that it’s better for kids to see happy parents separate than miserable parents in a relationship.
Just an update, I confronted him. We didn’t argue or fight, he did admit to it and took responsibility but said it was from when we were broken up, he deleted his account in front of me. As for the hotel thing he said he was on the phone with his mom discussing the day and the situation with me and our baby. I made it clear that I didn’t believe him though he said I could ask her. I told him straight of feelings about how I felt about our marriage and my plans if I decide to divorce. I also told him that I didn’t trust him at all. He apologized and luckily didn’t gaslight me or say anything else just that he was willing to get marriage counseling because he didn’t want us to end it. I agreed on that because we always talked about it but never followed through. He was understanding that I didn’t want to be affectionate with him after everything. I just said that now that we’re married and have a daughter these situations aren’t the same as dating so we need to be serious or end I
I think marriage counseling is a good idea, I did that too and it helped for sure. Good that he's taking responsibility, but let him know this is the LAST chance.
Thank you 🙏🏻 I definitely let him know that this it. I just want our daughter to see us happy and in love and he does too. I’m hoping the counseling will work out. We’re trying to work it out so while he’s deployed we can both be on a video chat with the therapist at a decent time. I’m gonna try to stay positive.
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