Partners involvement

Men don’t get it. You’re not alone, they have no idea what it means to have a baby, not all men but judging by this app it’s a lot of men, they want the fun part without the hard work, I also think they see us as “coping” so leave us to it as it mums that nurture, I think they are just shit scared and have no idea what to do 😂
It will get better 🤷🏽‍♀️ if not just know you’re doing your part x

Yes I have a 13 month old and have felt like this. I said to my husband that for the entire year I felt like a ‘single mum’ in a marriage and I said the same that one of the reasons I would not want another child is because I’d end up doing most of the parenting on top of having a toddler and everything else. I really thought he would do more

I've genuinely debated doing it as a single parent. I feel as if I'd manage better because I know I'm on my own and I shouldn't expect any help. I also wouldn't have to clean up after my partner either. It would just be mine and baby's mess.

Also, if we split, we would share custody, giving me a couple days in the week where I have time to myself to catch up on house work etc.

My husband is amazing and great, 100% involved in our daughter's life and very much taking to the role of fatherhood, but even guys like that don't get it. He would hate me saying this but it's completely different for us. He was getting up at night while on paternity leave, but now night shifts are all on me because he has work. I have her the vast majority of the time. And yes, he's working more than I am and his work day isn't resting, but I had to explain to him that while it's true he's working, he can take breaks. He can shower in the morning. He can get dressed. He can play tv in the background all day. He can check his phone or spend 15 minutes just zoning. He can get up and walk away. I need someone else to take her to do all of that.

He's great and I'm thankful to have a guy who's genuinely invested in our baby and in sharing the household world, but he doesn't really get the whole... attention and emotional exhaustion of having to be attentive and positive a hundred percent of the time.

*work, not world, lol.

Completely agree with Melissa here! My husband is so amazing with our daughter, completely loving and involved. BUT EVEN THEN, the other day I asked him to put her socks on and as a joke he said if I do that then what would you do?

To which I said, putting her to sleep, dealing with her rash, poop diapers, pee diapers, bathing, dressing her, every feed day and night, waking up all night, taking care all day, saline dropping and snot sucking, and List goes on!

Mind you this is a loving and involved dad… mom’s just do more with no break

Wow, I'm so sorry that all of you are dealing with such inattentive/misunderstanding partners :( When I was TTC I came across a number of random friends of friends with kids and they were all actively bitter/resentful of their partners and all said something along the lines of "Just you wait and see, you think he's a great partner now but once a kid is there they all drop the ball" (or something meaner but along those lines). There was a ton of projection going on there, and my mental process was that their partners were probably already "dropping the ball". And I was right. My husband says he misses the baby and takes him from me as soon as he can when he comes home and pulls his equal share of the nights and tells me to take breaks and that he's got it fairly often. He never complains about time with him (except when the booger is awake for most of his night shift but sleeps like a dream for my half lmao).

Genuinely I wish *every* person had a partner as active and involved as mine is. Sorry y'all :(

Don't get me wrong I would not call mine inattentive in the least. He is absolutely 100% engaged. I just think it's different with moms.

I did a lot of scrolling on Reddit leading up to having my son, and the stories my grandma would tell me about my grandfathers involvement, and a little of what I remember growing up in our house hold, I had much lower expectations of my husband that he exceeded, thousand fold.

Not all men but a lot of men, and sometimes you get lucky. But in reality I’m the one struggling to juggle a toddler and keeping the house together with a full time job. He can do it with his eyes closed and arms tied behind his back. lol

I get so sad everything I read about someone partner/ husbands not taking their responsibilities as a father! My partner is 100% taking on his part as a dad. In the beginning I had to tell him what to do a bit but now I don’t. He helps in the nights as our daughter doesn’t sleep well. At one point she would only go back to sleep when he took her now it’s me she wants. I’m currently pregnant with our second in week 28+6 and he lets me rest/ nap when needed. We do a lot of stuff with our daughter together, like night routine. Sometimes I do and then he takes her some nights too. Sure I can get frustrated sometimes when I feel he doesn’t understand which is not often as he is a very understanding person. He is 100% a great dad and partner and I’m so lucky to have him! 🤍