Never felt more alone
New first time mom here, and more than likely a single mom. I will try and keep it short... I am 36 years old and currently 19 weeks pregnant. BD initially was happy about the pregnancy, but as it progressed, he's been getting more and more distant, barely answering my calls or texts (he lives overseas and we only found out I was pregnant after I returned home). I've come up with every excuse in the book for him, but I'm slowly realizing he will probably not be present for this child at all. I finally got the courage to tell my parents, thinking I would be able to rely on them for support, and their reaction was worse than I ever could have imagined. They have shamed me for jumping into this relationship so quickly after my last one and getting unexpectedly pregnant, and they also want nothing to do with this child as it will be a mixed/biracial one (so horrible of my parents to have this mindset, and I apologize in advance). I am in complete and utter disbelief at their reaction... and have never felt more alone or unsupported. I don't really have any close friends nearby, and I am at a loss as to what to do.
I guess my question is are there any single moms out there that have raised their child with little to no support, and how did you cope? I do not believe in abortion for myself, but are there any women out there that have terminated their pregnancy because of little to no support, and how did you cope?
I am trying to do right by me and this pregnancy, but I do not know what to do anymore. I am trying to be strong, but the truth is I cry myself to sleep on a regular basis lately. Any thoughts or guidance would be greatly appreciated.
The views expressed in community are solely the opinions of participants, and do not reflect those of Peanut.
Learn more about our guidelines.
What do you want to do? Can you handle taking care of a child 24/7? With no financial support? I am very sorry this is happening to you. You have to remember that if you choose to have the child, you will be the only one there for him or her 24/7 unless you can afford a baby sitter. Being a mother is very difficult. Much more difficult than a full time job but your baby’s smile and laughter will bring a lot of joy to you. I am not a single mother. I have help but I have other issues. I still struggle a lot but I don’t regret having my kids. I am determined to bring them up to be of some use in society and I will try my best to give them a happy childhood. It’s very rewarding being a mother but it’s very difficult
Thank you for your courage in sharing and reaching out. You are taking the right steps already by seeking support in your community. I’m sorry that you’re going through all that. Your BD and parents will regret this one day and by then it might be too late for them to redeem themselves but hopefully not. Keep your head up. Definitely lean on your chosen family and keep doing what you’re doing. Seek out resources in your community and start fresh with people who get you and support you. You’re strong, independent, awesome, intelligent, beautiful, kind and loving and Your child is very lucky to have you as their mommy. If you lived near me, I would in a second be your friend and do everything I could to be there for you.
Sending tons of big warm hugs and positive energy your way. If you need someone to talk to, please feel free to inbox me. 🤗
I’m so sorry you feel like this if you ever need support us locals on here are more then welcome to chat and support you. I my self have struggled with my depression rn with being pregnant for the first time currently and becoming more aware of the lack of support and friends around me. Your strong you got this and will make the right choice for your future and anyone who doesn’t support your decisions at this time you should 100% stop contact with.
Life is a one big wave. You get on and ride it thru, don't let anyone tell you different. A man doesn't make your relationship with your child stronger. And honestly him not being there NOW... shows a lot about his direction! I personally would just blink him out of my mind. And ur parent well I think it's the first shock. . They are wrong for saying that to you and making you feel this way. Shame on them! But again you can't control others, yet only yourself.
Do you live alone? Do you work? Do you know the gender? Where do you live?
Getting more connected with your baby will always bring you a deeper joy and bond. Which will override all the negative people in your life right now, I call them speed bumps. It allows you to see the true nasty colors in the people - needing to be removed outta ur life.. take the hint - put those on silent 🤫 let them feel half of what your feeling. You are chosen to be this beautiful and wonderful babies mother! Just you! Cus your perfect for this baby.
You got this and your journey ✨️ will be great!
Your feelings are valid and normal for what is going on in ur life... just don't allow yourself to get stuck in those feelings...bounce back and getting stronger. Not letting those negative people in your life to control who and what you are ! Rise above babygirl ✨️💐❤️🌟💜
Hi, yes, I am raising my child with not much support. I live in the UK whilst my families and friends all live in Europe (I can not return since my BD is blocking me returning home with my child). So I don't have any support here. I basically never have time for myself but that's ok for me at thr moment. Its definitely tough sometimes, but here in the UK, I get support with childcare. My child goes now to nursery full-time so I can work. I really love my job. So being able to work is really helpful to me. Otherwise, I would be really isolated. There are also single mum groups around which can be quite nice to go to from time to time. It's doable, but it's important to be good organised to cope well. And it's definitely helpful if you have a good nursery or childminder once your child is a bit older (mine started with 15 months nursery). When it's tough I always remind myself that it is a phase and one day I will miss those times. Wishing you all the best 💕
I feel like we’re in very similar situation. 36 y/o, pregnant, and first time single mom. I have some support from my mom for now but I haven’t had the courage to tell her yet. I live in the US and currently 30 weeks pregnant so I don’t have any advice regarding terminating the pregnancy but if you ever need someone to talk to then feel free to contact me. Whatever you choose to do I wishes you all the best ❤️
Hi, if you can see me and you can dm me, I’d love to talk more. Your story sounds almost exactly like mine to the tee and I am also trying to cope. I’m sending you so much love and strength 🙏🤍🙏🤍
Download the Peanut App
