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COVID-19: US Mamas

I felt like crying today

I was so overwhelmed. I only have like 6 weeks left of school and I’m taking 16 credits + 4 hrs a week of internship where I support other parents with mental health stuff.

I’m also pregnant and luckily it’s been easy for the most part. I have a hyper active toddler who recently stopped napping. Some days I feel like I’m killin it ya know like I can get all my shit done, be patient towards my child, cook dinner n shit, and keep the house clean. Other days, like several days this week and last week, felt harder. I’m so fuckin tired. I NEED my afternoon naps. I sometimes wish I could send my kid to daycare for like 4 hrs a few days a week just so I can have my nap and catch up on homework while my hubby works.

Sadly we can’t afford daycare in my area. Part time is about $1400 and full time is $1900. The places that are more affordable don’t have availability. I called medicaid to apply for ERDC to see if we qualified for assistance. We don’t. We’re just $100 over the income limit for a family of 4. I called a bunch of other places and had zero luck and I just wanted to crawl into bed and check out for the day. Ive been here for 2 years and have made only 1 solid friend whom I see semi-regularly, but she has a 3 year old who’s crazier than my kid and they live across town so I don’t feel comfortable asking her to watch my kid most of the time. My husband’s family suck but they live a couple hours out anyway. And my parents are about 3,000 miles away otherwise they’d help out.

I felt kinda salty toward my client because she gets free child care but she doesn’t even work and just sits at home. Her kid goes to the daycare that’s $1900 a month. For free. And I’m like… I’m desperate here dawg. I almost wanna quit school again because of the lack of support. But I can’t. School has been so so so important for my recovery (alcoholism). I graduate next Spring. So close, yet so far away.