Best friend cant attend any of my events
I am due in November and my parents live out of state so I'm planning my gender reveal and baby shower ahead of time so my family can attend.
I told my best friend to save the date of June 8th for the gender reveal and labor day weekend for the baby shower. First she says she cant come to the shower because she's going to Burning Man. She says I should pick a different weekend. I said no because its a holiday weekend and I'll be off work so I want to spend the extra bank holiday with my family. Then she says honestly you should just do your gender reveal and baby shower at the same time. I told her no. I dont want to do that. She keeps insisting saying its better anyways because its easier to plan one event and save money. I told her no. Thats not what i want. I'm not waiting 8 months to find out the gender of my baby and i dont want a gender neutral shower.
Then she says wait when did you say the gender reveal was. I remind her June 8th. She says oh well i cant do June 8th. I've already requested off a bunch of dates in June for weddings and I need time to work and make money (shes in sales and works Saturdays). I said well its April and I am telling you in advance so fingers crossed the request will get Approved. Shes stressing to me that it's not about that, she needs to make money and she already has a lot of days off and quotas to make at work. She then says cant you change it to the 9th? Sunday is probably doable but a little inconvenient for my boyfriend's family. Plus everyone works the next day.
I understand she needs to work but something about the whole conversation we had is just REALLY rubbing me the wrong way. Is it just the hormones talking? Should I just change the gender reveal to Sunday instead?
Also for context, when I told her I was pregnant she was happy for me. She offered to throw my baby shower for me. She was drunk when she offered so it seemed like an empty offer but i still appreciated it.
Also when we were discussing the gender reveal, i was talking about what food to serve and she suggested pasta, and I said no because i didn't think it would keep well outside at a park when it's hot out. She then suggested cold pasta. I said I dont like cold pasta. She said its not about you its about your guests. I said its my party it should be able to serve what I like.
Am I overreacting? What do you guys think?
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No you’re not overreacting! I think it’s completely normal to have this date be convenient for YOU and YOUR choice. You are not obligated to change everything to convenience her ❤️
My “best friend” never once attend any of my events. I made the effort to go to hers and she lives in another state. I was broke but still made it possible to visit her. We aren’t friends anymore and is now making me the bad guy (post on social media about friendships and went out of her way to make a post herself and I know it was about me) but friendship is also a two way streets. But all these years, I felt like it was a one sided friendship.
I just found out I’m pregnant with baby #2, so I haven’t told anyone. My husband and I planned our own baby shower the first time and everything else besides gender reveal (mother in law did it). We’re both gonna do it this time (we’re gonna do both gender reveal and baby shower together).
You’re totally not overreacting, do what’s convenient to YOU. You did communicate with her and let her know ahead of time, what she does next is on her.
Well at this point if she doesn’t show up for you and all she’s doing is trying to make it only more convenient for her then she can just kindly not come don’t make u feel bad bc she doesn’t want to work with u!! I get that you are good friends from the sound of it! But GOOD FRIENDS SUPPORT YOU AND YOUR DECISIONS! It’s like u getting married and she’s your maid of honor and u take her out to go pick your dress out and you find one u fall in love with and then she says…”don’t wear that one maybe you should wear this (something she picked out). Like no it’s YOUR WEDDING and YOU ARE THE ONE WEARING THE DRESS!! Sometimes friends can be overstepping/controlling if that’s how they are used to doing things. But this is your BABY! So it seems a little like maybe it will take her some time to understand that and understand that this will maybe change the relationship a little, but trust me when I say this, having a baby will show you who your real friends are and who u can count on.
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