I lied about having kids

I don’t think you’re a bad mom for saying that . However if you get the job and something happens to come up with your son and you need to leave , they will be very confused and probably wonder why you said you didn’t have kids . They may think you’re now making it up that you have a child to get out of work . If you feel like you have to hide that you gave a child it sounds like that’s not the right job for you. Is it possible you mistook the look from him?

The guy shouldn’t have asked if you have kids. However, it’s well within an employer’s right to ask if you have other responsibilities during your working hours like full-time caregiving (for children or elderly relatives - both are very intensive!) Will you have childcare arrangements for your baby, or are you planning to work full time while also watching your child full time?

If they’re paying you to work 8 hours a day between 9-5, then it’s fair for them to expect you to give all of your attention during that time. A lot of moms think they can work full time remotely while also being a full time SAHM, but that usually doesn’t work out as both the kids and job get neglected. I also agree with Grace that if you get the job and then mention your child, they’ll be confused and will realize you lied or think you’re just trying to get out of work 🤷‍♀️

I wish he was writing things down and then looked up when he asked me the question … I’ve had previous interviews and they always ask me and it’s always men. I’m just going to keep everything in my life personal at work. I read somewhere that when men have kids they get raises but when women have kids they get less hours or something like that…

Anyways thanks for responding … I was just venting about the workforce. God bless

I’m sorry but I think you dug yourself a hole here. Cause as others said if god forbid anything was to happen to your son and you needed a day off or anything like that. They’ll question what else you lied about if you could lie about such a thing. But good luck

It sounds like he was just trying to address you after his question honestly . I have never heard of men getting raises for children . My husband definitely never has . I would be careful with what you read and take too seriously online . It’s okay to keep your personal life personal at work but I wouldn’t suggest to keep lying about having a child .

I guess it depends a bit on the job and where you live but I don't think employers can discriminate on the grounds of a potential employee having kids- however plenty would rather take on someone with no responsibilities who can dedicate their lives to the job and be available at all times, this is why I'm pretty sure they're not allowed to ask questions like this. I imagine you haven't been offered the job solely on the basis that you are child free, I think the best thing is to explain that when you were asked in the interview you panicked because you weren't expecting the question as part of a professional interview, you really wanted to work for them (suck up a little bit) and that's why you said you didn't have a child. On the other side, they shouldn't be tricked in to paying you to WFH during which time you are also looking after baby, you won't be able to give your full attention to either and I think it will be a struggle as well as being dishonest in another way...

https://phys.org/news/2019-10-women-male-counterparts-childbirth.html

My boyfriend got a raise after I had my son. So did my brother in law… there’s discrimination towards mothers entering the workforce

Once again thank you all for responding 🙏 peanut is a great app for other moms perspectives and I appreciate em

That’s actually an illegal question in California. Age as well just an FYI. But no you’re not terrible, this world is terrible for making us feel that it’s either/or. SAHM or working mom, we’re all doing our damn best and a mom is the best multitasker you can employ!

The question itself was discriminatory, and your reproductive history is a protected class of information. I also don't think this would backfire, bc if something happens, you don't have to mention it being child related. You'd just request the time off like other people do. The question was inappropriate of him to ask, and your answer could've been anything you wanted.