Do I tell employer or not

I am jumping way ahead of myself here, but would like peoples opinions. My employer knows I am having IVF and is good with allowing me to have time off for any appointments. IVF has been going on since 2022 with 2 failed FETs and I have had 3rd this week. I have always felt they are holding me back on promotions because of IVF and maternity. I always get 'we have better things in mind for you'. My next 1:1 is in June, if this transfer works, I'll be around 10 weeks at the point of 1:1. Should I lie and say it failed (im praying it sticks)? I think a perfect role is coming up for me and if I'm pregnant I feel they will make up some excuse, but it will really be because I'm pregnant. As soon as pregnancy happens, I will not return after mat if I'm still in the same god damn role. I'm scared of looking now as other companies may not be nice about IVF and refuse time off.

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I wouldn’t say it’s failed because they will know you lied as it will be pretty difficult to hide eventually. I just wouldn’t say anything…would your employer directly ask if it’s worked if you don’t say anything? I believe you don’t have to inform your employer until 25 weeks by law (not sure if this is international) x

I told my employers that I needed mat leave and then I got royally screwed over and had a miscarriage. I wouldn’t tell anyone anything. The bare minimum mat leave notice. Even then I would still be dubious as trying to do the right thing only made everything worse for me. Good luck

@Lauren I would only keep it quiet until 12 weeks which is also after the 1:1. It's a very toxic work place, so I kind of feel I don't owe them anything. They would ask.

@MJ I'd keep it from other colleagues until I could no longer hide it. Ahh so confused what I would do

You don’t have to say anything to your employer .. and they can’t ask .. If they do, you can say, when I have news I will share with you

Don’t tell your employer - keep it on a need to know basis. My employer was very supportive throughout my failed transfers, by the time of my third and successful transfer, my manager had left the company. I kept it all strictly private (I’m generally like that as a person anyway) and only spoke about it when it was necessary and even that came with minor office politics. If you feel you are being passed over on opportunities, could you say that on your 1:1?

@Zara I mentioned it in my 1:1 last year when my manager changed. This one is so much better, but obviously everything comes from above and fed through. I may be getting way ahead of myself yet, either way I will be saying it again