Need advice

So I’m a mum to a 9 month old and 20 weeks pregnant with baby born this September, I’m stuck with what to do because I’m worried about what will happen to my 9 month old when I need to give birth. I don’t have the option to leave her with my parents and I don’t leave her with my partners parents because they’ve shown they don’t care about her, don’t see to her needs and they’ve never come round to see her or asked to help out so trust wise I don’t even leave her with them and I’ve made the right decision to not do that too. What can I do? Each day I’m worried because it’s either I push for a home birth depending on if my glucose test comes back fine, or I give birth alone and have my partner look after my 9 month old🤷🏽‍♀️ I don’t leave her with anyone and the only people I did leave her with was my family but like I said above that’s no longer an option anymore. Help please, any advice or no of anyone who’s been in this situation?

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I think your options you've put here are your only ones, maybe if you do have to go to hospital you can do a video call to your husband and they can come in right after. It sounds weird but have you asked if your 9 month old can come into the room too, I don't know if it's the right thing but it might be worth an ask 💁

@Nathalie no I haven’t asked as I’ve just assumed they can’t just because they can’t come into scans so I doubt they’ll be able to come in and tbh I don’t see why they would. And yeah a video call could be an option but means him losing out of being there I guess and if I end up getting gestational diabetes again I could I guess plan around it as I got induced with my first one but if I don’t and I end up randomly going into labour at any time that’s what worries me is having to get myself to the hospital and then let’s say if it’s in the night getting her up too

Do-able alone and worst case if it was natural and in the night he could drop you in and go back home, it’s not like you’d be left to drive in labour no partner would do that lol

Have you considered hiring a doula? They are experienced in the whole birthing experience and may be a good substitute. Your partner can watch your baby and you can give birth in the hospital. I do think it's safer - my opinion - so that if anything were to go wrong you will be in the safest hands

I second a doula for your support while labouring if you can afford it. You can also consider hiring a nanny that can stay with your 9 month old at home but I would need to have tried them out before the day/ evening/ night you need them. The nanny could even help you the week leading up to due date and first week after baby is born if you need some extra support with practical tasks i.e. food shopping or watching 9 month old while you clean etc, taking baby to a group they may already be regularly attending etc. All depends on what they are happy to do/ you need doing. Then get a cleaner to help you with cleaning and laundry so you both focus on rest, feeding yourselves properly, caring for the children, and reducing the possibility of unnecessary conflict or burn out from the sleep deprivation and general tiredness.

@Susan i 100% second this