Daughter hates vulva being cleaned

Have you tried talking through what you do as your doing it? I know most babies hate being wiped whether it’s face, hands or private parts. Maybe try saying “I need to just wipe you here so we can keep you clean” “you may get irritated badly if we don’t keep you clean” I only have a boy who is 3 months old but he can get a bit fussy when I clean under his bits especially when he’s pooped he goes all rigid and starts throwing himself around when he’s had enough. Sometimes I just stop and let him calm down and then continue. Hope that helps. If not I’m sure there’s loads of girl mums who have had similar experiences x

Yeah we talk things through with her and validate her feelings, have tried to get her involved, we gentle parent so we try really hard to make sure she is the boss of her body and things but this is something that we just can’t let slide as she needs to be clean.
I honestly think next step might be getting a mirror so she can see what’s happening a bit better. I know it can’t be nice, I definitely wouldn’t like it happening to me but it needs to be done w

She’s still really young, so at this point they don’t fully understand if at all understand themselves clean in any way. At this age they’re just getting really stubborn and want to do things only they want to do. Sometimes my little girl gets stubborn about changing her nappy, but it’s starting to lessen now since I’ve started telling her in advance that I’m going to change her nappy, I say her name to catch her attention from whatever she’s doing and let her know “We’re going to change nappy in two minutes” then again after a minute. if I can see she’s starting to get stubborn about it, I ask her to pick a toy to lie down with, or hold her tablet and play a game whilst I change her. I don’t go into the vulva unless she’s done a poo. Xx

Maybe there is already an infection 🤔 🧐 maybe it's hurting when you touch? Maybe try to use soft cloth and warm water. Or chilled Camille Thea.

She’s quite happy to go for a nappy change and we tell her in advance, she does this thing where she winds herself up like a toy and runs to the changing area 😂 she talks about us cleaning her bottom and vulva and stuff. She knows it all is about to happen she just doesn’t like it and I do understand why. Can’t be fun for them. We don’t do vulva unless poo as well and she knows this but still hates it. She’s very good with her body, she says “don’t tickle my arms” or “don’t touch my hair” if she doesn’t want something as she now says “don’t touch my vulva” when we clean her which is great but hard when it needs to be cleaned

No there’s no infection, she just doesn’t want her vulva being touched which is understandable.

Have you tried maybe using something else than a cloth to clean? I’m not too sure if that would work but maybe some sort of water spray or bottle to rinse? I know the crevasses make it hard so it might not work, especially if it’s cream but maybe it’s worth a try? Otherwise a mirror to let her see everything sounds like a good idea! I hope you can figure it out together, it’s a tricky situation to respect her and her body but also make sure she’s cleaned 😕

No but I’m going to try something else tomorrow. I might try a big cloth and a mirror so she can see and help wipe, will be easier for her with something bigger. Or a really wet cotton wool ball, might be enough to rinse it.
I love how in charge of her own body she is and we have bought her up to be like that but it’s gets hard with things like this 😂

You gotta enforce the potty training if you aren’t trying to wipe her down before it gets worst. You can always start using a wet towel to wipe instead. But having her potty train will help her get ahold of the routine with wiping herself and keep that area clean. It took me awhile with my daughter to potty train but it a must, if it dirtier than usual. Had a similar problem with my daughter. She is 3. Fully potty trained now. Took awhile, started when she was one.

We gentle parent so we won’t force her until she is ready. We take her lead on things so will wait until she tells us she’s ready. It could create a negative association if we push her before she’s ready and we aren’t in any rush.
We just need to try and help her understand she needs to be cleaned a certain way.

When I say enforce, I mean like maybe TRY to put her on the pot, make it fun for her. There plenty of way to try it out now that she 2 and having lil trouble. It may save you a lot of stress by even trying. Enforce isn’t always a bad word or way of teaching your kids things. Gosh. Nothing negative about it.

Yeah we have and she’s just not ready and isn’t showing any interest so we will leave it until she is. She’s not showing any signs of readiness, she will learn when she’s ready.

Do she have her own lil potty that makes noise or sing songs and sounds like it flushes? I used to sit my daughter potty in front of mines while I go pee, and sing a song with her, she would pee. Didn’t work on the first 10 tries 🤣 but she started liking it because it became a routine she got familiar with. I also put the potty places she normally play at, had her bottomless for a few days as well… it helps with stress when they at lease know that it around to try out. My daughter gave me a hard time but if I didn’t at lease keep consistent with it , it didn’t help when I would break the consistency of putting her on even if she didn’t pee. She just loves that mommy was doing the same thing she was doing. ❤️ like 10-15 mins after meals and 10 mins after I see her use her cup.