Absent fathers ? Do they ever bother again

If he has no interest now then he will never have full interest. You’re in your right to have mediation and group contact sessions if he ever did want to see the baby. My LBs dad hasn’t seen him for 1 year 3 months, and he’s 2 in a couple weeks, so I know if he was to ever come back into our lives it will take more than just a simple ‘can I see him’ message

@Zoe that’s interesting as I always wonder how my daughter will feel as she gets older don’t want her to ever feel it’s anything to do with her x

@Sophie yeah I agree I wouldn’t want him to be alone with her anyway as he has no care for her I wouldn’t trust him we are happy is all and I’d rather he said I won’t ever bother but I guess they do that so they can pop back in case they fancy it if their life isn’t going how they want it and decide they want a back up

My “BD” hasn’t ever met my daughter. I found out I was pregnant and told him I was going to keep the baby after regretting an abortion a few months prior. I was the worse person on the planet, because I refused to kill my unborn baby for his selfish reasons. I said if he doesn’t want to be apart of it then that’s fine but I’m not having him dip in and out when it suits him and damaging my daughter’s life. He couldn’t be bothered to turn up to the first scan so I took it as he didn’t wanna know and completely blocked him out of our lives that day. He only had one chance with my daughter and he won’t get that chance back. Never heard from him since. My daughter is now 7 1/2 months and is the happiest most content baby. We’ve gone through everything stress free being away from this toxic person, I couldn’t imagine our lives if he was still apart of it. I would not have the same baby I do now. He’s never paid a single penny and never tried to contact me. Trust me you are both better off 🩷

Exactly. He’ll do whatever he can to play games. I had his dad message me around Xmas saying he wanted a DNA test 🤣 it was all some sob story for his new girlfriend, but he hates confrontation so he’ll never be a full blown dick because he knows I’ll send her the messages. He doesn’t even pay maintenance. These men are a joke!! 🥴

@Cher that’s sort of similar to me my ex left me when I fell pregnant he refused to come to scans saying it’s my fault we weren’t together when I stood up for myself as he was being very aggressive and verbally abusive after I decided to keep the baby. He blocked me after my 12 week scan and then he unblocked me once she was born but said he would show up in a few years if needed but not to contact him in the meantime. Like I would want to after all that 😂😂 we’re very happy my baby is also doing great and a happy girl I can imagine my stress of dealing with him would have impacted her guess that’s why I’m worried want to protect her well-being as she’s doing great! Hopefully he will just stay out of it also then x

Yeah I had the same. My ex was a narcissist and very abusive. I knew I didn’t want my daughter in that environment so he’s done us a favour. We know our girls will want answers but all we can be is honest. If my daughter wants to meet him then I will help her but only when she turns 16. He is not a safe person for my daughter to be around and as a parent I will protect her from this behaviour. The last thing I want her to feel is the same emotion damage I felt. You will find someone who will love you and your children a trillion times more than this “so called man”. He will regret what he’s done, they always do. Karma will bite them and by then it will be too late. Good luck xx

My sons dad was like that and he met him still the same thing he only cared about what I was doing and I put my boundaries up and he backed off recently came out of jail and said he wanted to make things right with me and my son 3 years later I said I moved on you can still see your son and I haven’t heard from him since. X

My BD went back to his ex after we had a one night stand (he was actually an ex) which he has two kids already. He doesn’t want her “to take away his kids”, so he doesn’t want her to know of our daughter. He wires me some non-court child support each month. He only saw her one or twice when she was a baby, then stopped coming. He says once he is able to get his life together and live apart from his first BM, he’ll tell her and be in our daughter’s life. Which is absolute shit BS i’ve ever heard in my life. My daughter is almost 6 and doesn’t know her. I wish things were different, I hope my daughter is more than okay when she’s older. I always worry

@Ciera this is how I felt to begin with but honestly he’s just out there lying to girls he’d never admit he has a child he doesn’t see because it would look so bad. These other girls don’t realise the man they are actually with and he is just using them for a distraction to take his mind of the terrible thing he has done. My ex blames me for everything but I went to therapy and realised it’s not my fault and he is someone who doesn’t want to take accountability and that he will never validate my feelings or say sorry or appreciate all I am doing for our child. The evidence is there we are good parents we don’t need them to think of us I’m sure it’s eating them up in some way they probably can’t even bare to think of what they have done so why it looks like they have a great time distracting themselves as much as possible from reality. At least our babies will know we always did the best for them when they ask 💗

My son is almost 2. His father has been blocked on every social except 1 of my old instagrams (I hadn’t used it since I was a few months pregnant) 2 days ago I was back on it (I had an old friend message me and the notification come into my emails I logged in. He was online and guess what. Nothing from the past 1.5 years that I haven’t spoken to him. Not even an attempt. Most deadbeat/absentees are gone till adulthood or forever.

@Zoe yeah that was the same with me I was about 8 weeks when he left. Yeah I’m sure our babies will be fine! Their loss anyway. That’s good yes I’d probs do the same with my daughter just let her find out rather than bad mouthing etc. did your dad ever reach out again out again ? Xx

My sons 2 his dad has never met him either. And am happy with how things are and he won't just be coming back when he feels like playing dad either. Only thing I worry about is my son thinking it's because of something he did wrong. But at the moment he doesn't know any different, you can't miss something u never had