Single mums💗

Any other single mums struggling to grasp reality ? I always said that kids would only be something I did in couple format- but the BD left me traumatised and now Im 24+3 and I feel like I’m in a constant state of delulu 😂 I can only try my best, but it still doesn’t feel real to me x
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I’ve been there before

Even now & my daughters 3 I feel abit guilty sometimes that I didn’t have her with the right person, but she wouldn’t be her with that low life scum impregnating me.. 🤣 so in some ways I’m thankful for him 🤨😂 it’s a weird one.. he gave me my best friend & tho it’s sad for her that she hasn’t got her dad or his side of the family around, she knows no different… she’s happy & loved & that’s all that matters. Some days are harder than others but you get through it, women are bosses x

@Sian one of my worries was that having a boy would remind me of what I suffered, but now I know I’m having a girl, I’m slowly convincing myself that I get a ‘mini-me’ just like my mum, and that brings me peace knowing that something good is coming from it regardless. I guess the loneliness sucks more while she’s not here yet 😅

I’m currently 20+4 days pregnant and I’m a single mum to my 15 year old. Me and BD broke up 2 days before I found out I was pregnant. I have found some days are better then others but it’s rewarding waking up every morning and looking at A little human you have created. I raised my 15 year old son on my own since he was 2 and I am doing it all again. How I see it you have gained something magical out of something that was so traumatising. My inbox is always open if you want to chat x

I can totally relate to this. Got pregnant the first time I slept with a guy I was seeing. I was told it would be very difficult for me to have children so I couldn’t bring myself to terminate. But my gut was screaming there was something wrong with the guy and I couldn’t have been proven more right (with info from social care and the police). Obvs I ended it and I have no guilt in saying he can’t have any contact. He is a super unhealthy and unsafe person. It would be wrong of me to subject my child to him. I’m a trainee therapist and have studied early childhood emotional development and attachment this last year, and at no point does it demonstrate a need for a father. Just a safe primary care giver and examples of healthy relationships in their lives. I do have this fear now that I know I’m having a boy that he will somehow end up like him tho, that scares me.

@Rachel I get that. I had to find out the hard way about my Ex too. But now the police are involved I feel safer. I’m not putting him down for anything and I plan to get a restraining order for me and my child as soon as I can

@Lauren it’s really tough isn’t it. I gave up on the traditional relationship or family dynamic years ago but I never thought I’d get pregnant by a monster. I’ve struggled a lot with shame about that. But we can’t truly know people I guess. But it’s literally my job to see these things in people. I’m the same, he doesn’t go on the birth cert and he doesn’t ever get to come near me or my child. He’s too much of a risk

@Rachel I struggled at first too. Literally out of everyone I slept with, it had to be him 😕 but you’re right. You can never fully know someone. Only yourself - and baby of course 🤍

@Lauren oh girl I had some overlap and I was so desperately hoping it was the other guy 😂😂 but no such luck. I think we will be fine tho. I think Sometimes it can be less complicated. No one to argue with over values or how we raise our children. I know it’s tougher energy wise but I think we adapt. And hopefully I can raise my little boy to be a healthy and happy person all on my own!

@Rachel I was the the same 🤣🤣 like I was trying to work out if the guy from beginning of October could have over the end of November 🤣😭 oh well. C’est la vie 🤷🏻‍♀️😂 yeah, we’ll be better on our own. He used to love to manipulate me by saying “single parents aren’t role models for children. They need stability and you can’t give that on your own. Let’s show them what real parents look like” blah blah blahhhhh 🤢🤢

@Lauren what a load of shite 😂😂 I bet he truly believed it too is the sad thing. I had something very similar. All these ideas but every time it was about “his child, his mini him, his offspring” - made me realise that he saw this child as something he owned, a toy to play parent with. Not on my watch. Healthy relationships can be modelled without them being romantic ones, sounds like he has some very outdated views. I also got “if it’s a boy he will need to be shown how to be a man”. NOPE! My son will be whoever he wants and by that it itself will define his masculinity. Although I may have to rope my brother and nephews in for penis ownership stuff, not sure I can help much with that stuff 😂

@Rachel yep, that’s what I got too. Just someone to play parent. I should have seen the signs in the first place but hey ho. We live and learn don’t we. The peanuts are better off without them

I can totally relate to that. Am 22 weeks pregnant and this scumbag has said nothing. He told me he wasn’t ready and wanted an abortion but I said no and kept it. Now am alone fending for myself. Am having a boy that kinda breaks my heart. But am staying firm and happy for him. I know it won’t be easy but I have hope that things will be better for me and my child. It was hard to have a connection with the baby but now have come realise that the baby is innocent and he only got me in this world. So I have to do my best to provide for him. Am now doing a part time job to earn some money to start buying things for the baby. As am typing now, I haven’t bought anything. Sometimes I become anxious, angry and scared but after taking up some therapy sessions, am now a bit ok and I know my part time job will help me a bit to buy my baby things. I know heavens will make a way

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