Can’t agree on names - husband wants to incorporate family names

My husband and I can’t seem to agree on names — he says it’s important to him to incorporate family names into our babies names, but I don’t have any interest in doing that and feel pretty strongly about it. I would like something more original to us, but he wants to name our kids after his parents and I really don’t want to do that. I’ve expressed this, but he also seems to feel pretty strongly about it. I’ve agreed to his middle name (his grandfather’s name) being passed down to one of our kids, but he is insisting on his mother’s name and his dad’s name too. I’m so uninterested in this idea. How do we get passed this?

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My husband was keen on using his parents names too. And I wouldn’t be against it but to be fair I’d want to also include my parents so when I said that he agreed it would end up too long. You could try that argument or: -Is there a spin off their names you like? So for example my MIL is Lucy so I was like maybe Lucia -Is there another name you like you can connect to them? My MIL gifted us an olive tree and I love the name Olive

@Norah YES. Including my parents would be something I’d want to do to be fair to them, as well. I absolutely agree. I really like the idea of possibly doing a spin off! Something similar but at the same time it’s unique like I’m wanting more of. These are great ideas I didn’t think of. Thank you so much!

I am with you Kailee. Really dislike “memorial” names. Nora’s strategy is a good one. Alternatively, maybe say he can chose 1 family middle name and you both chose an original first name. Word it in a way that he is getting a better deal than you because you are not choosing anything on your own… 🤷‍♀️

We had the same issue. So we reconstructed dad's name, Johnathan/John Junior became Nathan. I also am friends with another person who reversed dad's name - Noel - to get Leon for their son. I explained to my partner I'd no problems with middle names being honour names but each person in each family deserve their own identity and therefore name 😊

My hubs wanted this, he's technically the third David, but they all go by their middle names so they all have their own unique name and no one is a Jr or anything so it worked for us. I would agree with others that if there's namesakes from one side there could also be some from the other side too. Asking for three namesake names from his side alone (unless you're having a whole basketball team of children to spread it out over) is quite a bit. That's the kids entire name..

My name was my mums, grandmothers and great grandmothers middle name and tbh I do love that I’m named after them so I do get the wanting to use family names howeverrrr I wouldn’t want the same first name! I used my partners grandads name and dads name, and they’re the same as my sons uncle and cousin (both first born boys) so I did think it was cute that it’s a little tradition. But I only did that because I liked the names and I probably wouldn’t have used a name I hated just because it was a family name. Love Norah’s idea too of using a name that links to family members rather than just their names!

Can you choose a name that spells any of your relatives names? For example I’ve seen someone name their little boy Jonah because it spells “John”

My brother and my grandad are both Christopher's my first and both my middle names are after my nannies and great nanny and though I understand how it can be sweet the child is their own person and tbh deserves there own name, im named after one woman who I don't get along with and another who's name got added as another middle name of mine just so she wasn't left out... the babies name is about the baby not about keeping everyone else happy, or as a gesture for others, it's a celebration of a new life and a new person who's is deserving of their own name and own identity imo... From a family member who's all 3 siblings are named after others in our family and none of us love it, means more to our parents than it ever has to us so I don't agree with it personally

Did you take your husbands name when you married? Will the child have your husbands last name? If so, I feel as if THAT’S his family name. I think he’s being a little greedy wanting the middle name to be his choice too! If this isn’t the case then I agree with some of the compromise options above. Or could just skip the middle name if it’s causing problems (though I do really like middle names!)

@Sorrel I agree with this! Since I took my husband's name and our children will have that name, we've used my family names for middle names and chosen first names we both liked

We used family names as middle names. So our son has both his grandfathers names as middle names, and if we have a girl next it will be both grandmothers names in the middle (or if we have another son I’ll change it so each son will have one each) I think you do have to be a bit careful with family names not to slight someone else