Virginia
County?
I've read from a FB mom group that it is recommended in child custody to specify the Father be responsible for the children and Not other relatives including strangers if it supports you and your children's family system for health happiness and safety. Perhaps search for a lawyer specializing in high conflict co-parenting
Narc baby daddies are so hard to deal with. I'm so sorry you're dealing with all this, sending you positive vibes 💛
You may want to reach out for support on Reddit as well. https://www.reddit.com/r/NarcissisticSpouses/s/IJW8ZcnllB https://www.reddit.com/r/NarcissisticAbuse/s/hxZ18dZC6i
Document every incident for when you do go to court. But I don't know. What state are you in and county?