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I love the fact that he prays but the baby is 99% of the time my responsibility. He won't change her or bath her or take her for more than 20 minutes. If he goes for noon or afternoon (asr) or morning (fajr) I'm fine but sunset and night are the time that I'm really near to dead. Imagine I'm up from 2AM to 12AM. the baby if using me as a human pacifier so I'm mostly pinned down with her sometime hungry and thirsty for hours. And him leaving me in her witching hours and claims he's praying for me. Like ok thank you but when you can help you pray?
There's absolutely no one to help me and he just talks and does the least. Hasn't Islam said more action less talk? Tell me I'm wrong and if not what do I do with him? He thinks going to the masjid is prior to my need of help
The views expressed in community are solely the opinions of participants, and do not reflect those of Peanut.
Learn more about our guidelines.You need to express to him clearly that you need him hands on and that his priority is to look after you and baby and that he can pray at home. This period is temporary and that he can go back to going to the masjid regularly but the night times you need him. You need to put yourself first and the baby and it is islamically his duty as a father to look after you guys.
It’s obliged on men to pray their fardh rakahs at the mosque in congregation ( or at home if there’s another male present to take part) but it shouldn’t take hours on end depending on how far the local masjid is. There’s a reason the prophet S.A.W mentioned to pray his sunnah rakahs at home and to make life easier so ask him if he can just pray his fardh and come home as soon as he can and make dua and do additional praying while holding the baby or something? That way when a child observes these actions of prayer they start to learn the atmosphere of a Muslim household. When My husband goes to the masjid he’s gone 15-20 mins max for each salah and does the rest at home
I’m pretty sure prayer in a mosque is fard only if you can hear the Adhan or live near a mosque ? So only possible if you’re living in a Muslim country - outside of that your husband should go to the mosque on Friday prayers and when he is near a mosque when out and about. We might follow different schools of thought but if your husband is spending a lot of time outside the home you should sit down and speak to him about your concerns. Leaving just when you need him is not the one…
He has to pray fard in masjid, but he should be able to be home between maghrib and isha and after isha, so it really not sure why it’s taking up the whole evening 🤔
Can you suggest that between maghrib and isha, or isha and bedtime (depending on Time of year or prayer times), that he be home to help?
Don’t jump straight to “don’t go masjid” because he will just fight back with it’s compulsory etc. Suggest a solution inshaAllah. If he still doesn’t then I’d honestly suggest to stay at your parents and get some support and help for a few weeks. (Could also shake him into action).
May Allah make it easy for you x
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