This is embarrassing but…

Fiancé and I have 15 year age difference. He’s 41 I’m 26. He sometimes calls people my age kids or calls me kiddo on occasion. It honestly bothers me. Should I be concerned? Is this a red flag?
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I mean it is quite odd for him to call you that and then being in a couple. I would speak to him and tell him to stop that immediately. He should not be calling you kiddo that’s just insulting period. If your together he should view you as his partner/ equal. Definitely not kiddo like you are a child. Like ummm no sir. I am not saying he is thinking of you in a nasty fetish way. But he definitely shouldn’t be calling you a kiddo or viewing your age as such. When he is marrying you and should have that respect for you.

Idk if its a red flag. But it's weird. Seems like he doesn't see you as an equal adult? Quite patronising to call you kiddo

I personally find this a bit weird! Not the age gap, cause love comes in all forms, but I find it weird that he calls you kiddo, and people your age 'kids'.... If you're engaged, then you're his partner, his equal, and you both are a team. In a partnership you are not to be considered less mature, less experienced, less knowledgeable, or referred to as a child. I wouldn't be comfortable being called kiddo by my fiancè and would be requesting that he puts an end to not only calling you that, but thinking of you in that way. He shouldn't be thinking of calling you kiddo, it's a mindset that he needs to get away from as you may be called 'wife' very soon.

Why is he talking like someone’s 60 year old uncle or a grandpa? lol yeah just have a conversation with him about that. I also don’t think your man should be calling you kiddo like your one of the kids.

My partner is 20 years older and if he called me “kiddo” I would be furious with him

He has also made comments around his family saying, “he has lived longer and has had more life experience then I will ever have” I said excuse me, I’m not 16 I’m 26. And lately he has made comments saying he doesn’t know how I’ve made it this far in life because I bought a grocery list of fruits, veggies and meats instead of processed foods. He likes easy meals and thinks the grocery list should be under 100 🙄 we live in 2024 not the early 2000s. That’s what I should tell him 😂 Overall it’s making me question if I even want to marry him honestly lol.

That's so strange for him to be speaking like that, my husband is also 20 years older than me and wouldnt dream of talking like that! It's so patronising, definitely speak to him so hes very aware of how rude it is and how you feel and put an end to the comments especially in front of others x

My partner is 20 years older then me when we argue he would call me childish i put a stop to it straight away as its completely disrespectful if i was you i would nip it in the bud asap

My mom is in her 40s and my step dad is 29. That’s so odd how he’s talking lol. He seems he needs to get his ego knocked down a few pegs. I’m sorry you’re going through that. If you really love him maybe consider couples therapy and bring it up? Or have you brought it up to him? I definitely would tell him he needs to stop

I couldn’t give you any advice me and my sons dad has the same age gap and I shut that type of behaviour down quick when he did it I just reversed the roles and was making comments like calling him an old man and saying wonder what I’m going to do once your gone since you have one foot in the grave it humbled him real quick he thought he was on top of the world because he thought he’s still got it since he can get a younger women but very quick to forget it was down to me if I have him the time of day so got rid of his ego fast age doesn’t equal knowledge and experience but I only did it because he doesn’t understand feelings or trying to talk about feelings so had to put it into actions so he understood how it felt with the shoe on the other foot

Oof. It shows he doesn’t respect you, so, personally, I couldn’t stay in that relationship.

Next time he says it ask him y he likes dating kids then. Maybe he'll change his tune. I'd tell him it bothers u

Yeah if it’s raising red flags for you now, and the problems are not going away. You definitely just want to listen to your gut, feel like an equal as you should, not get shut down when bringing up these types of problems. Marriage can make things worse if he isn’t going to listen. So it is definitely important to make sure all those things stop, and he does respect the things your saying before taking next steps.

Have you told him it bothers you?..

Yes

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Yes! Very weird. My husband is 19 years older than me and never does that. This is an alarming red flag

Do you have kids together or pregnant?? I’ll just say my man is 13 years older than me, we met when I was 25ish, him 37. If he ever called me kiddo or anything similar I wouldn’t like it. Also my man might have more “life experience” but it definitely isn’t the good kind. He was in n out of jail/prison in his 20s-early 30s. How long have you been w him?

In England you’d just say “if I’m a kiddo, you’re a a pedo” to make him just as uncomfortable, bet he’d soon stop💀😭😂

Not sure on a red flag, amber perhaps. Definitely a little strange x

@Kayla so true😭🤣

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