Posting as anonymous because it’s a difficult situation…
I have a little boy who was born in April 23’ and I’m currently pregnant with my second child due in January (same father).. my child’s dad has never put 100% effort into parenting and I found I was the primary caregiver 24/7 (bathtimes, feeding, changing) all of which he has never done! He has consistently left for other women and chose drugs over his child.
I decided to call it a day on Father’s Day, knowing I was pregnant he decided a week later it would be a perfect time to meet another female who has shown judgment to me by saying “why would you have another baby if he was a shit dad to begin with” which I understand but we lived together and it wasn’t a short relationship (4years). She’s also explained that she wants no part in my children’s lives but he told her I was pregnant without my even knowing about this relationship before my own family. (I find it so disrespectful)
He pays £30 per week and sees our child every Sunday.. however Mon-Sat I’m a fully single parent I don’t get a text, call or anything to ask how his child is due to him spending time with his new partner. Over the past 3 weeks I have decided to just fully cut contact as my son is getting confused as a week without seeing his dad is a long time, I’m in no means bitter towards his new relationship I genuinely feel sorry for the poor girl and the hell she will go through being with him.
Today, one week into no contact he rang asking to see his child I said no, he followed me in a car and visited my parents house demanding to see his child. He also rang 999 saying I had kidnapped my own child and was refusing to let him see said child and also said he would jump of a bridge (which I would never want but I also don’t need on my conscience) My parents say I cannot deny him access but it’s unfair me having my child 6 days a week and him having a few hours on a Sunday.. I am 12 weeks pregnant today and I don’t need the stress honestly but I’m done I want him out of my life in my eyes he’s made his bed moving on so he should stay out of the way.
Can anyone give advice on either solicitors, mediation or if I just have the right to remove my son from a toxic situation. He’s know his new partner less than a month and my child has already been around this girl without my permission. Am I going crazy or the bitter baby mum???? Or am I just doing the correct thing I feel so torn😵💫
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Awwwwww sorry to hear that hun. We are twins in regards to the children’s birthdays. My second one is also due in January. I say get your justice because the whole point is he is taking drugs and is a shit baby daddy paying little to nothing. Sis…. It’s also about time you put him on child support 🙂
congratulations mama!! Unfortunately he doesn’t earn his money legit so it would open a whole can of worms if you get my vibe!! Fuck men🥰🥰🥰🥰
Tell him he can arrange for custody / mediation through the courts if he’s that bothered. It’s for him to sort out. If he’s shady you don’t need to go out of your way to give access. Apply for Csa it’s not your fault he’s not above board. You have two kids you don’t owe him anything
Neither does my friends baby daddy, but she still put him on child support. What you can do is set an amount you believe he can cope with 🥲 In regards to him demanding to see his child… only hope can save us all.. why do they do this? It’s so random and an uncall of just bad energy.
thank you so much.. I’m honestly not trying to be bitter but I just want the safest life for my children xx
honestly it’s the audacity of them both.. I could personally never ever be in a man’s bed knowing there’s a girl 2 miles away holding it all down but that’s life.. men will be men! Thank you so much for reassuring me I feel like I’m going crazy xxx
So sorry to hear your going through this hard time. You are not crazy or bitter. If he's taking drugs you can't risk your little one in the middle of that.
You should get a solicitor and take out a non molestation order against him. If you feel unsafe phone the police. You should also register your child at your address and yourself as the primary care giver.
I could write down what the others did, I agree with them.
But noone told you he won't jump off of the bridge, he just wants to manipulate you!
I know this type of person too well.
my baby dad is the same, He sees my little girl 1 day a week for 90 minutes. I would definitely get some legal advice, if u could prove he was using drugs you would be given full custody 🩷
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