Struggling mom(vent)

I need some where to get this out, somewhere I fell like someone will listen. Sorry it might be long. I am 29, 30 in about a month and grew up super rough, I didn’t think I would survive the world this long. I couple years ago I decided to go back to school and actually make something of myself. And since then life has been kicking my ass, I have a 5 year old daughter and an adopted 18 year old( that’s another story) but I got her out of a group home when she was 16 known her since she was 5. I am with the father of my child however we live an hour away from each other and truthfully I support myself and our kids. All household bills and 95% of our daughter’s expenses, activities and extra circulars. So needless to say we struggle as a couple, I feel like I’m always angry and with him, he’s not a bad guy we just live very separate lives. I take care of my mom who just left a DV marriage after 24 years from my lunatic step dad and I help support my three brothers… even though two of them are adults. I’ve been a punching, provider and scape goat my entire life. My real dad is dead and most of his family is too. My step dad’s family which is also my brother’s family doesn’t care much at all. And my partners family has now just started to respect me after 6 almost 7 years. I’m pretty much on my own, friendships are few I end up being a provider or mom to them too. I work part-time as well to keep the lights on. But I’m drowning, in debt, mentally, physically. I feel empty a lot of the time and my daughter suffers the most because by the time I get to her there’s nothing left in me. Don’t get me wrong I take care of her but the fun part of being a mom doesn’t exist. I regret getting into together so late in life and feel like I can only blame myself for why it’s so hard now, but having no support sucks. I’ve been actively trying to also heal from my trauma, cope with current situations, parent, provide and just basically survive. And still for a lot of people it’s not enough. I never feel enough. I feel like all I do is clean, work, mom , study repeat. I don’t ever have fun, no one taps in to help. Over the past few years I’ve had to learn things I feel I should already know; changing a tire, fixing drywall etc. and then I constantly hear you live in your masculine energy, you have to be more like a women, gentle and soft. Yet when I am that side of me gets taken advantage of or bullied and a lot of the time I find my self craving to be taken care of just once. Not have to make decisions or pay the bill or plan the trip. I’m starting to wonder why I keep getting up every day to do this hamster wheel. I feel exhausted. If you read this all thank you ❤️