How to learn to like a name you don’t love?
Before I start this post please don’t come say “you make the baby you get to chose the name”
Backstory... My husband and I had picked the name Calvin for our first son as it is his grandfathers name who we both love and it’s a name my husband has always dreamed of giving his son. Long story short I like the name I just could not get on board so my sweet husband let me pick another name with the caviate that if we have another son we name him Calvin. I agreed to this and we named our son a name I chose with a middle name for my family and my last name then his last name. My husband gave it all to me and loves our childs name. Fast forward to now we are pregnant with our second and last baby. We don’t know the gender yet but I feel it is a boy! I have started to think of Calvin and just cannot love it again and I need to. This is so important to my husband and I don’t hate the name I’m just not able to see it as my child’s name. We would again use my family middle name so all he asks is for the first name to be Calvin! I’m trying to love it I really am but it’s been hard. It will be our son’s name if we have a son! Has anyone ever been in a similar situation? How did you learn to love a name?
Again please don’t start with the it’s your baby comments . I know it is my husband would kill for us and is the most amazing husband and father and I’m happy to give him this I just need advice on learning to love it I guess??
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Argh, baby naming can be so hard. We found it hard to agree so we went with one I didn't love (it was my suggested name so not one my husband had loved for years either!). Anyway, roll on to baby being 4 months and I developed PND over his name. In the end we changed it at 6 months to the one I had wanted to use years before be was born (my husband realised how much it meant to me by this point!).
I know an adult Calvin (I also used to have a pet called Calvin, so I love the name!), never thought it was an odd name.. if it helps at all to hear opinions!
I'd also suggest waiting until you meet baby. I thought i was OK with the name choice until he came along. You don't really know sometimes until you see them and what suits them (and you don't know for sure you're having a boy so this stress might be for nothing🙂). There's no rush in deciding.
This is really relatable!! My husband is Sikh and there is a naming tradition that he would like to follow. Basically, they use their holy book to select the first letter of the baby name. This is giving me some anxiety due to the mystery/how foreign it feels to me. However, I just make sure to talk to him a lot about it and we have come up with some good compromises. I know this isn’t the same thing you are dealing with, but I’m glad you brought it up because I honestly think a lot of baby names are the result of compromises that make people uncomfortable. Not that this is about justice or anything, but a compromise where either party are giving something up DOES tend to mean the deal is fair haha. I think this name must make your husband happy, and that which we call a rose would be just as sweet by any other name etc. if you are sure you’d do this for your husband, then just remind yourself the reasons you love him enough to make that happen!
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