Being silly ?
My bother and I are 7 years apart in age, he’s older.
I recently had my kids, twins and my mama has been helping me massively ❤️I def couldn’t do it without her.
So now with the babies she’s constantly telling me what to do and then she goes: that’s what I did with your brother, that’s how I fed him, dressed and so on. Then I ask, oh I see, with me as well? And she says: I think so, don’t remember (😳) she said it a lot until I said, that’s so weird you remember things waaay before and doesn’t remember me, the most recent and she said something like oh yes that’s my memory and now when she wants to say something like that and when she remembers she say that’s how I did with you guys.
Anyways I got a bit hurt that she doesn’t remember many things when it comes to me, I have so many other things to worry about but cannot avoid.
I’m also glad that with my twins I will never say that❤️
Am i being silly? Overthinking something that I shouldn’t?
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Awe I’m so sorry. I imagine she was perhaps overwhelmed with having two kids when you came along and had amnesia. Perhaps your brother was a busy little boy and you just tagged along while she coped.
So mom brain (totally a real thing, as many moms know, but maybe not everyone!) Can get worse with consecutive kids!!! It hit me hardest at 8 months pregnant with my first, but then slowly depreciated more with my second lol. Being that he was the first(?), it could be that she had more time and energy to focus on things he did - not for lack of caring, but simply one less kid, less responsibly, less schedules and people to juggle....
I can understand your feelings on this, but i don't think it's anything intentional against you and she's not trying to hurt you... seems she just wants to help, as she's there and giving advice :)
It can happen. Shit sometimes my mom doesn’t remember my name. I don’t think she meant anything hurtful by it. She’s not gonna remember every detail
What if she had PPD or PPA pretty bad ? Those things can create a fog and it’s not something she necessarily wants to admit to you.
honestly my mum was the same. he never got to meet my kids though as she passed away. when she passed away as a family we went through her things and sort them out, we couldn’t find anything of mine (ultrasounds, red book etc) but we could find everything for my four other siblings and that hurt like a bi*ch x
I remember a lot of my first child's early days but I don't remember much of my son's (2) and I try not to remember much of my last child's early days. PPD, PPA and PPR destroyed all of those times for me. I'm honestly kinda glad that I don't remember much because it was pretty ugly. Maybe your momma had a tough time too?
lol whys that so true 😂my mum will literally go through every kids name when shes calling one of us.
It doesn't mean anything ❤️❤️
Having a second kid is just different. I love my daughter as much as my son. But I didn't fastidiously track her milestones etc like I did with my oldest. Too busy juggling two kids.
As mom I totally understand my mom now and I can imagine how exhausted she probably was, just as I am with 2 babies needing the exact same thing at the same time.
I love my mom and she rocks!
Just that you do feel less important when you get those comments, she always comment how annoying I was as a baby, so lol sweet things she seems to not remember (?)
But as growing up I always felt she would identify more with my brother, it was a bit clear.
She would never ever say that.
I’m not saying it’s wrong but it’s hurtful to the other kid indeed. Just as my father identifies more with me and probably my brother feels it.
I am not saying they’re bad, I do have amazing parents but we do learn with them, even with their mistakes. What I take from it, is that, even though I might identity and relate to one kid I will try to never show this.
I hear you. As she had 4 kids before you, she was pretty aware of how a pregnancy was, first time things are always more exciting.
It’s our parents first time living as well, so mistakes will happen just as we will commit many mistakes through parenting life
It doesn’t mean we will not be hurt if we cannot be remembered.
Maybe other lesson is that our kids are going to grow older and will want to know how they were as a baby or how you remember them in that phase, of course we will probably not remember every detail
And yes maybe she had PPD but I don’t think so, she would have told me ( my mom tells me everything)
But still if she did, as a kid it’s still hurtful - I am not saying as a mom now-
Theres 7 years between my 2 and i remember more from when my first was younger as it was only him, when you add another one in it kind of all just blurs together then.. i can imagine its not nice hearing it as an adult but i dont think she meant any harm at all🤗
I agree with you ❤️
I think also to take into consideration how the first born gets more of the parent. I noted every little thing with my first, and it’s not that I don’t love my second born just as much - but she isn’t my first born and I have a toddler to give my attention to as well. So his firsts are also always going to be my firsts.
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