Am I the problem?
I just had my baby on Saturday (17th) and didn’t even get the chance to shower before everyone came pouring into the room to visit the baby. I told my husband to tell his family to come later in the day, so my parents could bring me my hospital bag with my stuff to shower and clothes to change into because I did not have the opportunity to leave the hospital and grab my things before my induction as per my OB (could be waiting for a room for a while if I did leave) and all I wanted (after having to give birth naturally because it progressed so quickly I couldn’t get an epidural) was to shower everything off of me and feel somewhat clean at least. They ended up coming at whatever time they wanted and I just sat in bed the entire time under the sheets while they crowded around the baby. Fast forward to now, as I am a few days postpartum still bleeding and what not and taking care of the baby as her wake window is during the night time from 12-7am while cluster feeding, I have expressed to my husband that I want some time to adjust and feel better as well as get in the swing of being a mother as this is my first before having any visitors again, his family included. My mother is staying over to primarily take care of me as he doesn’t have paternity leave as the baby sleeps for most of the day minus changing/feedings. He doesn’t understand why his mother and sister can’t come over to visit the child and that they should be able to. I told him that I am worried about her getting sick and I just don’t feel well enough to entertain company as the baby SLEEPS during the day anyways so it wouldn’t be much interaction with her. Am I in the wrong for asking for a few weeks time to feel better and the baby to be a little bit older?
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I don’t think you’re the problem at all. You just went through a huge life change and one of the most vulnerable times of your life. He needs to be able to respect your healing time and your concerns for your baby’s health. I don’t plan on letting any visitors in the hospital or at home for the first 2 weeks. Our bodies need time to heal along with we need time to adjust to our needs lives and baby does too. It’s not okay that he feels he can over step boundaries, he needs to understand that you aren’t ready and that’s completely okay. When you are ready, then they can come but not any sooner than that. I’m sorry you have to put up with this and I hope he wakes up and is able to respect your boundaries
No, you're no where near in the wrong, you're the one that pushed her out and it no one can accept your wishes or boundaries, stand still. Be the ahole she not let them in, im that way and ik they ask think I am, but once they have their wishes not respected after birth then they can talk, but not till then.
Not at all.
Youre not wrong at all. I'm lucky everyone that has asked to come see the baby after we got home has been understanding when I told them to give me time to heal before they come visit. I don't want people constantly coming by to see the baby when all she does is sleep and all I want to do is relax and heal. They can wait until I'm not in constant pain. She's not going anywhere anytime soon anyways and neither am I. They need to respect your boundaries and give you time to recover and bond with your baby
Not wrong! I was in labor for 48h because I had to be induced a week before my due date. I had my baby at 4:13am on 8/4 and I was obviously up all night with contractions and I asked my husband to tell everyone no visitors in the morning because I wanted to get some sleep and shower. Nobody listened and family came anyways. I even told my mom to tell my family not to come because I am tired and she completely ignored that!
Remind him that you have an internal open wound the size of a dinner plate that you're recovering from, plus dealing with a newborn who has their days and nights switched! You're allowed to be picky about who is in your space and when!!
Not wrong at all and don’t let him make you feel that you are. You just did all that work safely deliver your baby. It’s not good for all those people to be in the babies face anyway. And you need to heal, i didn’t want to see anyone for a while. It’s your baby and you need to be comfortable, tell him no!
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