Really struggling to cope with crying baby

i’m writing this while sobbing in the bathroom to take 2 minutes of breathing. I really don’t know what to do. My little girl is 4 weeks tomorrow and in the last 2 weeks it’s like we have a different baby. When she was born and for the weeks following, while she was clingy, she wasn’t a crier. She could be consoled easily and was very placid. Since around 1.5/2 weeks ago, she has suddenly become inconsolable and it’s only getting worse. Unless she has a bottle in her mouth or is sleeping (which only happens at night now after 12am), she is whaling at the top of her lungs. We’ve taken her the GP twice who tell us to simply give her cool boiled water (she is clearly in a lot of discomfort/pain when trying to go to the toilet and her bowel movements are very irregular - roughly around once every 3-4 days) but that has been ongoing since week one and this seems different. We’ve taken her to the hospital because the cries are blood curdling for hours and hours and they put it down to reflux and have only told us to reduce her feeds (which makes her angry because she’s clearly more hungry). Nothing is settling her, I’ve tried colief, Infacol, taking her for walks, baby massage (which she hates due to the pain she’s clearly in at times). Even rocking/consoling her barely works anymore. I’m honestly struggling so much. I have no idea how I can get through another couple days of this, let alone the months people are telling me to wait until she grows out of it or the phase will pass. I average around 2 hours sleep a night. We have no support from family and friends and my partner has to return to work next week as he’s already extended his leave to support me. I don’t know what I expect to gain from posting this but I just needed to vent as I’m living in what feels like hell right now.

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If you think it’s her bowels have you tried lactulose? I would just ask the dr for it! Another soothing technique is having a nice warm bath together for some skin on skin time! So hard mumma but you’ve got this ❤️❤️

@Amy im not sure the doctors will prescribe lactulose that early on, I took my little boy in at around 4 weeks for the same thing and they told me he was too young for anything so I just had to wait. He's now 8 weeks and I've been given some but it could be worth an ask...might have just been my doctors! We've all been there though and it's so so tough but honestly you'll come out of this ❤️

My LO had it from 4 weeks! I just gave a half dose in a nurse myself!

Oh how annoying that my doctor wouldn't prescribe it 🙄 my little boy was struggling so much but we just had to deal with it

My tips would be: work on baby’s overall strength. They are so small and weak, but I read that once they get stronger it will help. So tummy time etc. and then I have him a dummy to help with those crying episodes. I also tried infacol which didn’t help, but went back to it and stuck with it and then it helped. I also held him upright after every feed for 20-30 min since he had silent reflux. The dummy also helps produce saliva so that they don’t feel so much pain from the reflux. For my baby it got better by week 6, and by week 8 he was much better. By week 12 he’s like a brand new baby and super happy! I hope it works for you, and that it passes quickly. I know how it feels and how horrible it is, I was crying every day. But it gets so much better. You got this! Xx

Oh bless you, I’m so sorry to hear this. Well done for taking a break in the bathroom though! Are you formula feeding? If so, is it possible the milk isn’t agreeing with your LO? I only say this because my little girl was such an unhappy newborn and suffered with terrible colic. She would ‘try’ all day to poo and scream in pain. The Dr advised us to try changing her milk which we did and she became a different baby overnight.

Have you tried infacol? It always helped my baby when she was constipated. We also tried warm baths and massage you can search how to massage for trapped wind and constipation. Try water in between feeds too that could help or boiled water with abit of honey? Maybe book another appointment with ur GP they dont usually take u seriously until you go to them a couple of times. Its annoying.

The biggest thing that made a difference for my little boy was cutting out dairy from my diet (if you’re breastfeeding). Within days it was like we had a whole new baby. The reflux nearly stopped and he stopped puking up every single feed. I hope you find a solution soon, I know how hard it is, sending love🤍

Could your baby possibly have a milk allergy? My baby never had one but my cousin had a baby a few weeks before me and her little one was allergic to milk and once they had a different milk prescribed from the des she was a new baby x

@Mera no no no to honey. Never before 1.

From what you’ve mentioned I’d definitely look into CMPA, we didn’t get a proper diagnosis until my little boy was 6 months, before then we tried EVERYthing you mentioned along with various medications for reflux and 3 different types of hydrolysed milks. It wasn’t until we were given an amino acid formula he was a different baby and I actually started enjoying being a mum. Up until that point it was miserable and I hated almost every second of it feeling so useless, exhausted, heartbroken that there was something wrong and numerous trips to aand e / gp nobody seemed to listen and we were told he will ‘grow out of it’ even after we showed them videos of how in pain / discomfort/ distraught he was. It DOES get better with the right help, just pester and pester your GP till they take u seriously and definitely look into CMPA, feel free to reach out if u need someone to talk to because I know how rough it can be xx

@Lauren you can get it over the counter! I got it for myself postpartum and the pharmacist said you can give to babies too

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